3rd time asking.. PLEASE answer
Jul 1, 2006
I can't seem to get an answer to my question. Please help me as I'm freaking out once again. I had what I think you would call a low-risk exposure about 2 1/2 or so years ago. Giving unprotected oral sex to a man I did not know. It only lasted about a minute or so, with no ejaculation. He stopped in the middle of it and said something like "I can't do this" and left (it was an adult bookstore). Since then I've been freaking out because I'm thinking he was HIV positive and that's why he wanted to stop.
I have never gotten tested because, stupid as it may sound, I'm afraid to get a positive result. I'm married with a child and my wife would NEVER understand and I know I'd lose everything. I'm not always worried about this, but the worry comes and goes, especially when I get some weird symptom or other. Anyway, I have a sore throat and cough, and I'm freaking out again. Should I really be this worried? I just need some sensible advice!! Please answer. Thanks!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Sensible advice requested; sensible advice provided:
1. Level with your wife. Not only is it the best way for you to cope with your guilt and anxiety over this episode, but it's also the right thing to do, whether she "understands" or not.
2. Get tested. Your HIV risk is minimal to negligible; however, being afraid of the test result doesn't change the reality of your situation.
3. You may worry the other guy in the bookstore was HIV positive because he wanted to stop; however, the more likely scenario is that he, too, had a wife and kids at home and was feeling guilty about his man-on-man action.
You asked for sensible advice and that's what you got. I never said you were going to like it, but it is indeed completely sensible.
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