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Oral with a condom? Cold Day in Hell! My sex life is drying up!

May 27, 2006

Hi Doctor Hottie:

You are cute. Ok, on to my question. so many guys (gay) and woman (straight) give oral sex - thousands of times a day. Hardly anyone, ANYONE wears a condom or dental dam. I have givin oral a lot in my young life (27) but never to completion - i.e. no ejaculation in my mouth and probably a bit of precum. I have always, always, always (can I say always again) had protected insertive and receptive anal sex. No condoms breaking, ripping, slipping and always put in on right before going in (pretty close to zero risk? right?). Ok, now I decided I would take the very low risk of oral sex and make it lower - oral with a condom - to bring the very low risk to zero. Well, low and behold - no one will let me suck their dick! No one. I bet Dick Cheney wouldn't let me go down on him (though I would rather suck Tony Soprano's dick than his). I tried a lot to have oral with a condom but so many guys say Forgetaboutit. Is oral sex without ejaculation really a minimal risk? can I not Freak out about it? I always check my partners dicks for sores, etc...I never take ejaculation in my mouth - but I worry - what if this person just got HIV and he is extremely infectious and a drop of his precum in my mouth will transmit the virus, would if he has an STD and some of the STD discharge gets in my mouth - I want to sleep at night and not worry, but try getting a guy to wear a condom for oral - never going to happen, never ever ever. So what is an oral boy to do?

Thanks for your time -stay cute, Doctor Steve is a hottie, too. Yum!

Response from Dr. Frascino


"Doctor Hottie???" Ah, I bet you say that to all the Sex-experts you want to butter up (lube up?) to answer your questions, now don'cha???

Oral sex on Cheney??? Gosh, you almost made me upchuck my lunch just with the thought of that unsettling image. Yuk!

I believe your independent research into the use of condoms for random blowjobs is probably fairly accurate. Most dudes just don't bother with them. I also believe your assessment of the risk of oral sex is also accurate "very low." It is not completely nonexistent, but it is indeed very low and if a latex condom was used, the very low risk could be reduced essentially to nonexistent. So why don't dudes do that? I actually asked a group of sexually active gay men that exact question in a support group. The vast majority did not use condoms for oral sex. Most said they knew or thought that the risk was so small as to not really matter. Others felt if they pulled out a condom it would scare off their trick, because there were so many other guys willing to suck them off without the raincoat in place. Some guys felt that if the guy wanting to do them tried to use a condom they would think the guy sucking them off "had something," rather than thinking the guy was just trying to be "extra safe." Of note was the fact that several very handsome guys in the group did say they preferred to use condoms with partners they had oral sex with on a regular basis. Some magnetic couples in the group also said they preferred to use condoms for everything they did, even though other magnetic couples said they used condoms only for anal sex, not for oral. One guy said he's conducted his own personal experiment by being a frequent visitor to a sex club that "specialized" in oral sex called Blow Buddies where he "eats at least a yard of cock" every weekend. He found most guys did not want him to use condoms, so he stopped trying several years ago. He's HIV negative and gets tested every month. He's had a few STDs in the interim, but continues to be HIV negative. He said he now considers spunk to be one of his four major food groups. I report all this merely to show you the reality of what's happening at least in a microcosm of the oral sex world. So, regarding the risk of HIV from oral sex, should you just "fuhgeddaboutit???" No, I would not suggest that. I believe there is indeed some degree of risk, especially if there are extenuating circumstances. Everyone needs to set their own safer-sex rituals to a level of comfort that allows them to enjoy sex. After all, sex is a wonderful invention, right? If you feel better reducing a very low risk to an even lower level of risk by using a condom for oral sex, you may have to search a bit harder for partners, but they do exist. The several guys in the support group who liked to use condoms happened to be total spunks!! Definitely the hottest guys in a room full of gym bunnies. No, I can't give you their names and numbers, so don't ask.

My ultimate advice is:

1. Stick to what you feel is safe or "safe enough" for your comfort level. Nothing kills the wonder of a post-sex afterglow quicker than worry!

2. Never, ever, ever, ever (you can continue adding lots of evers here) go down on Dick Cheney's dick. We all know the man is more toxic than kryptonite.

Dr. Bob

Cuts on his fingers...
Thank you for answering my question :)

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