Can a Magnetic Relationship Work?
May 15, 2006
Hey there doctor:
Just starting a magnetic relationship - he is positive. I really like this guy. But I am SCARED as hell. He is a total bottom, I am a top. He enjoys anal sex - but I am scared of the condom breaking. How ironic, I have never had unprotected sex in my life - always used a condom - and while I asked my former partners about their status, I never really "worried" because I had my trusty condom on. But now, I am truly nervous. I have talked with him about it and he just gets angry when I tell him my worries. I did give him oral sex - not to completion as I have never done that - and I was so worked up about it - tired for a week, muscle pains - all probably anxiety. How can I get through this? I want to make it work. Can I have anal sex with him, with a condom with lots of lube and not worry (to date, in 15 years I have never had a condom break). can I perform oral on him without worrying non-stop - he is not on meds - cd4 is good. Any advice you can give would be great. I keep thinking (not in a sexual way mind you) that you and steve have been together for years and years and have mind blowing sex and steve is still negative - so it can work.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Sex with nonstop worry is anything but mind blowing. I suggest you and your lover begin by reading through the information about magnetic couples in the archives of this forum. Communication is key. Your sex rituals need to be based on what both of you are comfortable with. Couples counseling may help the two of you improve not only your communication skills, but also your action between the sheets.
Can magnetic relationships work? Absofrickinlutely!
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