|Bobnism--My new religion!
Apr 27, 2006
Please do not ignore me!! I promise I will go see a psychologist after getting one last respone from you.
On a side note, I made a donation to your foundation. I will make another one as soon as I get my next paycheck (I get it on biweekly basis so next donation coming soon). I was never religious but now, I am. I believe in Dr.Bobnism. To me, you are a god. Knowing that you will always be here makes me feel so secure.
Dr. Bob, I really need your help and yes, for the last time. I am very close to the end of a tunnel and I just need your LAST push. Here is my story. I know it's a bit long but I'm begging you to read them carefully and answer honestly (as you always do):
I got a rapid Oral test after 1 year and a quarter since my last exposure. The test came out negative. But I am having trouble believing because of the following reasons:
1. I have a feeling that the person I hooked up (french kissing, oral sex, fingering but no vaginal and anal sex. No drug use either) a year and a quarter ago (December 2004) was intentionally trying to infect me with hiv. The reason why I say this is because we were drinking wine and when she kissed me, she transferred the wine from her mouth to my mouth and I drank it (i guess I had no choice). Dont you consider this activity bit abnormal? I do not consider her as a good girl as on her internet profile, she quoted that "she is a bad bitch." She could be a psycho...I dont know. After that night, I told her I felt uncomfortable being with her and that we couldn't be friends either. She was upset and never talked to me. I never saw her again and never will now that I graduated from that school last year in May.
2. I recently (4 weeks ago) had a rapid oral test done at a clinic listed on the CDC website . There were two patients, including me, waiting to get tested. The other guy went in first, came out after couple minutes. Then I went in. I cried front of the clinic because I was so afraid. He kindly waited for me until I was calm. Before he performed the test on me, he asked me "You are not going to do anything stupid if you find out you are positive right? You promise you will take medication?" Of course I said yes. Then he rubbed a device against my upper and lower gum. There were two test tubes on his desk so I knew the other guy who went in before me was getting tested too. After the clinic rubbed the swab, he told me to wait outside until I was called. The guy who went before me was called back, came out after couple minutes as it seemed he got his result in 20mins or so. Then I was called. When I went in, I had to wait another 35mins to get my result. The clinic was doing it very carefully and professionally though..he had the stopwatch and was timing everything carefully. When I went in, the stopwatch had 15mins (i think) remaining. Once it passed the mark, I had to wait another 20mins or so. Once it passed the 20min mark, he smiled and said I am negative. He showed me the result, one line next to the letter "C", no line next to the letter "T". My timing details may not be 100% accurate but I pretty sure it's close. But why did mine take more than 20 mins? I was waiting outside for 20mins and then went in and had to wait another 35mins or so. So my test took apprx 55mins or so. Why did it take more than 20mins? 55mins is way too long! TBut he clinic told me he's been doing his current job for 15 years...
3. I've been experiencing pain/discomort near my right armpit area for the last 2 weeks. I feel hot these days...fever?
So based on above, my questions are:
1. I have a feeling that the clinic was afriad over the possbility that I was going to commit suicide (even though I told him I will not do so) when he asked me "You are not going to do anything stupid if you find out you are positive right? You promise you will take medication?". But did he lie to me about the result because he was still afriad that I was going to commit suicide?? Did he do something to the test so that it'll falsely come out to be negative and in turn, to sway me from committing suicide? Would he lie for that purpose?
2. Why did my test took longer than 20mins? 55mins is way too long. Granted that he wasn't lying about his 15year experience, he should have done it correctly. So reason my test took longer than 20mins was not because he made a mistake but he was doing something to generate false-negative?
3. Could he have misinterpreted the result? Like maybe the one line next to the "C" was actually bit off the mark...making it invalid result.
4. Is there a chance that after I left the clinic, the test result could have altered to show positive result?
5. I noticed from reading bunch of posts, most people get more than 1 test. I only had one test. Do I need to get more than one test? I really dont want to get tested again as I feel that the next one will come out to be positive...
6. You say test after 3-month mark is definitive and conclusive. I read this post "http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Archive/Testing/Q154699.html"..the lady tested positive even though she did not have any sexual contact after her 4-month mark negative test result. Given this, would you still say that my 1 year and a quarter-mark negative test is definitive?
7. I assume that the rapid oral test they gave me tested for hiv-1 and hiv-2? I think the name of the device was oralquick. I even contacted the clinic to double-check...I was told the rapid oral test tested for both 1 and 2.
8. Why am I having the symptoms mentioned above?
9.Based on those symptoms, are you convinced that I'm positive?
10. Is there a possibility that I have a different hiv strain that is not being picked up by the rapid test?
11. I believe that based on those stories above, I need a second test. No? Am I 100% clean?
I feel like I am one of those unlucky ones that one day found themselves to have full-blown AIDS even though all the past tests have been negative.
My close friend who is very supportive thinks I'm overanalyzing and recommends seeing a counselor. I promise I will after I get my last response from you Doc. I promise!!!
Please help me for one last time. I'm begging you.
God Bless You, Still-In-A-Tunnel
| Response from Dr. Frascino
Here is your last "respone." (What the hell is a respone anyway?)
1. No. No. No.
8. Symptoms not related to HIV.
9. No, just the opposite.
11. Second test? No. your results are definitive.
Now off to the psychiatrist's couch you go! No one is trying to infect you. The wine transfer during the kiss was meant to be sexy. It is not abnormal behavior. Your histrionics outside the clinic, zany theories about girls wanting to infect you with wine and your obsessive and redundant questions to me are abnormal behavior. You have a significant problem, but it is not HIV. It's anxiety. Don't forget your promise to get help. It's definitely warranted.
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