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Apr 21, 2006

Dear Doctor,

This is the first time I am posting on this board and at this moment I am really really scared and freaked out. I am a married man and currently trying to make my wife conceive. On April 6, 2006, for some unknown reason, I chatted with a guy online and then decided to meet him. God knows what I was thinking. This is what we did:

1. He licked and sucked my fingers, neck and nipples.

2. I licked his nipples and sucked on his neck.

3. I touched his balls only (not his penis). He didn't touch any part of my penis.

4. He masturbated while all this was going on. I didn't. While he was masturbating, some of his precum (and possibly some cum) fell on my trousers.

5. After about 5 minutes after this incident, I went to the bathroom and applied water using my right hand on the area of my trousers where his precum/cum was and then like an idiot masturbated using the same right hand.

The most worrisome incident is No.5.

Obviously, while applying water, my fingers came into contact with the pre-cum/cum a few times (albeit 5 minutes after it landed on my trousers). By that time it appeared to have dried a little bit but not completely. I know this as my fingers felt a little sticky while applying the water. I did not clean my hands with soap after taking the last rub on my trousers; instead I went directly to the urinal to take my penis out of the underwear to urinate (and masturbate). This is the biggest mistake I made. At that point, i should have cleaned my hand with soap and water.

I have redone the sequence at home about 20 more times now to see which part of my finger came in touch with which part of my penis. I found that most likely the tip of my index finger came into contact with the fold of my foreskin (UNCIRCUMCIZED) while taking the penis out of the underwear and could have touched the urethra while pushing it back in. I read the the layer of foreskin in uncircumcized men is a mucous membrane which readily absorbs HIV.

So given the possible high concentration of HIV on my trousers, lack of soap usage and the touching of the foreskin and urethra, have I self-infected myself? It will be a terrible outcome if this was to happen.

I hope I am being able to convey the situation exactly the way it happened. I am just terrified now. Moreover I had some malaise-like feeling yesterday (12 days after the incident).

Please provide your kind assesment in light of the detailed description. Also, if possible, kindly let me know if a test is medically necessary in my case.

thanks doc.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You are married and currently trying to make your wife conceive, so you chatted online with a guy and decided to hook up???? Hmmm . . . that seems an odd way to get your wife preggers. As for the "some unknown reason" this happened, I absolutely agree: "God knows what you were thinking!" And I'm willing to bet deep down you know as well.

I'm also quite impressed you "have redone the sequence at home about 20 more times . . . ." WOW! Where did you find 20 more guys to spunk your Dockers? And doesn't your wife find it a bit odd you spend so much time having dudes shoot a load on your trousers and then you go whacky playing Lady Macbeth with the "out, out damn spot" routine???? Oh well . . . never mind. It doesn't really matter, because from the detailed five-point description you provided, your HIV risk is completely nonexistent. Yes, even the dreaded #5!

Do you need HIV testing? Nope. However, before proceeding with your plans for fatherhood, I think you should do two things:

1. Level with your wife about your activities.

2. Get professional counseling to explore the reasons why you decided to have sex with another man. Conceiving a child is not the answer to questions about one's sexual orientation.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Very Scared- Rare strain of HIV. Wife pregnant

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