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I dont have hiv
Apr 16, 2006

Hi Dr. Frascino, this is the Canadian guy that emailed you a question regarding a one-time unprotected sex with a female prostitute in Singapore. I have been checked out at 13 weeks, and will get checked again at 6 months to be extra sure I am negative. Thanks for your support. But, what I did was a huge mistake, and I confessed my one time act to my fiance, and she left me. So, even tho I am hiv-, I feel like I have died anyway. This was my only incident of infidelity in 8 years, and she can't forgive me. I am broken.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Canadian Guy,

Sorry to hear the news about your fiancée. Although I still think you did the right thing by being honest. We are all human, which means we all make mistakes. Confronting our indiscretions with honesty, accepting the consequences for our actions and learning from our mistakes are what's truly important. Hopefully your fiancée will ultimately come to this realization as well. Would she have preferred you kept this information from her? Longstanding relationships are based on veracity and integrity. Truly loving relationships will also be able to withstand the challenges of trying times, be they illness, situational stress, or even human indiscretions.

Yes, you made a mistake. You are not alone, I can assure you. That you have owned up to your error in judgment and learned form the experience will make you a stronger man in the future. It's clear from your post that this was a one-time lapse in judgment. It's also clear that you deeply love your fiancée and value your relationship with her. I suggest you send her this post and my response. Although she has every right to be angry and hurt, I do hope she'll think twice about her decision. If she remains so unforgiving, you should also reevaluate whether this person is really your soulmate. If the situation were reversed, would you forgive her? If this relationship was meant to be, you'll reconnect and your bond will be stronger than ever. Challenges that couples face together strengthen their union. If this relationship was not meant to be, then "The One That Got Away" may not have been your "happily ever after" after all.

I continue to applaud your honesty and integrity. You did the right thing. Happiness will ultimately be your reward. Don't feel broken. In fact, in my opinion you are stronger than ever.

Dr. Bob



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