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Evil Rich Hedonistic Gay Man
Mar 23, 2006

Now I just wanted to tell you that I applaud your efforts and good spirit. You are obviously a very good man. Unfortunately I am not;

Stats: I am a 30 year old, successful entrepreneur living in London. I am very handsome and fit, and I can pick up any guy I want for those reasons and my financial status. Now these are all the good news. The bad news is that because of this I have way too much sex, I travel all over the world and I take too much drugs (xtc,cocaine,alcohole,etc). I am under a lot of stress and because of work and my behaviour. I am always a top and I use a condom for anal most of the time but not all the time. I am afraid I might have gotten HIV and also I am scared that I might have passed it on to some of these naive young guys that keep running after me. I feel like a have all the symptoms, my tongue is white, specially in the morning, I got a cold sore the other day was big, I feel tired sometime and depressed and I have diarhea often. I also notice dark spots in my face, that I cant remember were there before. I dont want to hurt anybody , its just so easy to pick up these boys and I cant help myself, they are too cute. If I got his bug, I got it in the last 12months, I know I should get tested , but I am afraid that if I turn up positive ,thats just going to be too much to add on top of all the other stress factors in my life. And that I will implode. I am trying to accept that I prob. have it, but I was wondering what else it could be , if anything? I dont want to be evil but I feel that I might be. What to do with this hedonistic man?

thank for you help.

Libertine

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Libertine,

Let's see if I've got this right. You're 30, handsome, fit and successful and you live in London, travel all over the world and can pick up any guy you want anytime you want for sex. Hmmm . . . yeah, I can certainly understand why you would be so concerned with the "stress factors" in your life.

OK, whether you're secret agent 007, ("Bond, James Bond"), studly Jake Gyllenhaal ("we don't go up there to fish") or Pudgy Loser Karl Rove (bush's brain???), let's look at the particulars of your situation.

1. You "have way too much sex." Sorry, that's impossible. There is absolutely no such thing, unless you're a Republican, in which case any sex is considered way too much sex, especially if it's enjoyable.

2. You're always a top and use a condom for anal most of the time. OK, the times you don't use a condom do place you at some degree of risk for STDs, including HIV. The estimated per-act risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive anal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 6.5 per 10,000 exposures. Your estimated risk would be less, because we do not know the HIV status of the nave young bucks throwing themselves on your erect irresistible manhood.

3. Your "symptoms" are not worrisome for HIV ARS or HIV disease. Could they be related to something else? Yes, and most likely they are!

4. You are worried that if you test positive you will "implode." Sorry guy, medically that's impossible. Buildings implode. The Bush presidency is imploding. But you will not.

5. You "know you should get tested." I agree. So since we both agree (and we now know you won't implode), get off the computer and your hedonistic butt and go get tested. I can assure you that you'll be glad you did, no matter what the result is. I should also point out the odds are astronomically in your favor that HIV is not your problem. We see cases like yours frequently at the Frascino Medical Group. A simple rapid HIV test gives a definitive result in just 20 minutes! We even have a "no implosion guarantee" policy.

Libertine, I don't believe you are evil. Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rove are evil. You, on the other hand, are just frightened. The path forward is clear. Get tested. Use condoms to avoid future worry. I'd also suggest the best cure for hedonism is altruism, generosity and compassion. Why not use your wealth, power and success to help a worthy cause HIV/AIDS, for instance. You could promote HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention by educating the gaggle of newbies lusting after you. You could make a contribution of time or money to an AIDS charity. Karma is powerful. To have a truly successful life, follow the advice of Ralph Waldo Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave this world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded."

Good luck, Libertine.

Dr. Bob



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