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Saw the Doc Today...

Mar 11, 2006

Thank God You're Back Dr. Bob,

Well, I just saw the doc today and what I have to tell you is really bothering me. I just don't know who to trust anymore. I have read so many of your forums and I envy the work you do. Your advice has changed my life and how I even look at life. I was hoping you could give me your Expert Advice on a couple of things.

I had a one-time risk of: unprotected sex with a woman whose status is unknown to me. I took your advice doc, well kind of, RNA Test at 28 days ( I know you don't approve of these tests), then I finally listened...3 month Elisa (negative) and recently I took a home access test (6 months...negative!) So...Can I whoo-hoo it! ABSOL-FREAKING-LUTELY! But gets better.

So, I've been living the woo-hoo lifestyle. I learned my lesson, I am trying to live a better lifestyle. So what do I do. I go and get tested for STD's (i decided that not only praticing safe sex is important; but, so is checking on my status). The doc finds a swollen lymph node on my left groin. Says it might be from the my body trying to fight off HPV? (oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I have HPV) Does this sound right? Then I told her how happy I was that I got my 6 month negative test and that it was conclusive and she tells me that I should be tested again in 6 more months because...and I quote, "IT'S NOT CONCLUSIVE!" Woo-hoo to Boo-hoo faster then Cheney's bullet struck his friend? What's the deal Doc. I trust you more then anything.

Is it possible that I would test negative RNA, 3 & 6 month elisa and then test positive in a year? What's with the lymph node too? (I know you can't diagnose over internet, but Expert opinion is always appreciated!)

Again, you changed my life, I've donated money to your cause as well as lots of other charities, I learned my lesson, I'm practicing safe sex with only one partner now, I thought I could WOO-HOO it but I really don't know now? Could you maybe give me some advice as well as add a couple of jokes to spice things up????????

Doc, you're the greatest and I truly view you as a hero!!! I just don't know what to believe anymore. I thought 6 months was it? Thanks for your input Doc. I will donate again! God Bless you!


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello M.J.,

A negative 28-day RNA, three-month ELISA and six-month Home Access following a one-time sexcapade with a woman of unknown serostatus is definitive, conclusive and WOO-HOO-able. I do not believe additional tests are warranted; however, the option to retest is always open to you. I personally do not feel it's at all necessary.

An isolated swollen lymph node can be related to a wide array of conditions. Unfortunately there is no way for me to diagnose over the Internet exactly what's causing your problem; however, I can tell you it's not related to HIV.

I'm not sure why your doctor is recommending additional HIV testing. But instead of getting another HIV test, maybe you should consider getting another doctor. Did yours vote for Bush? Speaking of Dubya, do you know the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War? George W. had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.

Finally, since this is a sex forum, I suppose I should talk about sex. Much has already been published about Clinton's sex life; however, we haven't seen much reported on the sexual practices of the current inhabitant of the White House. So perhaps I should comment. Dubya only has sex when Laura is on top. The reason is becoming increasingly clear to everyone. George W. Bush can only f**k up.

Stay well, M.J. Keep smiling.

Dr. Bob

Crabs from hot tub?
Serial Masterbator...

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