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Sauna Room Situation. Please help.

Feb 4, 2006

Dr. Bob --

I can't even tell you how hard it is for me to write this email. I have never talked about my situation with anyone because it has been so troubling to me, but I am at the point that if I don't get this off my chest, I'm only going to get worse.

I am a 30 year old heterosexual male. This past winter I was in the sauna of my gym. I woke up to find two men on both sides of me. One was about to touch my penis and the other was watching. I quickly got up to run for the sauna door, but one of the men stopped me. Being only 5'5 and he was much over 6 feet, he grabbed me and forced me to my knees. He told the other man to watch the door as he told me to perform oral sex on him. I was so scared. He shoved his penis into my mouth and forced me to suck it. It lasted not more than 30 seconds (he didn't even cum) when the other guy told him someone was coming in. He quickly pushed my head away and walked out. I got up and was in the state of shock.

I have always been a worrier about disease -- only having one sexual partner my whole life. As a result of this experience, I have had the worst time dealing with this situation. I am constantly worrying about HIV. Reading your posts has been a comfort, but I can't stop think of this experience and further, wondering if I am OK. I am ashamed and won't tell anyone.

It would mean the world to me if you can tell me your thoughts. I do have to say that although I am a worrier, I have not had any symptoms of HIV. None. I think this is encouraging, but there is that doubt in the back of my head.

What do you think, Dr. Bob? Your expertise and thoughts would be so helpful.

A donation is on its way. Thank you for listening. I do hope to hear from you.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You "woke up" in the sauna to find guys on either side of you ready to grab your home entertainment center??? Hmmm . . . And when you tried to run for the door, the six-foot sauna stud grabbed you, forced you to your knees and shoved his tallywhacker down your throat??? Hmmm . . . OK, if you say so. But I've got to tell you, Dude, I've seen that storyline in several gay porno flicks.

If you've read my posts, you probably already know what I'm going to say, so I'll be brief:

1. Oral sex carries a very low risk for potential HIV transmission.

2. If you are worried, get tested. The odds are astronomically in your favor.

3. Counseling should help you cope with your irrational HIV fears, anxiety and guilt over the sauna incident (whether it happened exactly like that or not). The therapist might also delve into why at age 30 you are so shag-o-penic!

Good luck, guy. I strongly doubt HIV is your problem. Say, can I borrow your gym membership card???

Dr. Bob

Finally a WOO HOO!!!

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