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cut myself?

Mar 29, 2001

Dear Ryan,

I have been having a great deal of anxiety about a one time exposure that I had a years ago. I now find myself cutting myself to see if my blood clots( I heard that people with hiv have low platlet counts). My exposure that I am worried about was recieving oral sex from a stripper at a bachalor party I was drunk and thought it was funny at the time. After this episode I came down with what I thought was the flu (it was winter) but now I am worried. Please do not tell m to get tested unfortunately this is not an option for me and I'm going to have to do this the hard way. Have you ever heard of anyone being infected this way? I had no sores or cuts on my penis that I can remember and this was a one time episode that was never and never will be repeated.

Response from Mr. Kull

Okay, I won't tell you to get tested. Am I that predictable????

You would have a hard time finding someone who thinks you are at risk for HIV infection. There is no evidence that HIV has ever been transmitted by receiving oral sex when blood wasn't present. Please read through "Are there any reported cases of getting HIV through receiving oral sex?" (

I'm a little concerned about your level of anxiety and the fact that you are cutting yourself. You will not be able to figure out if you are HIV infected by cutting yourself. The only way to know your status is to have an HIV test. Sometimes people who experience high levels of anxiety engage in self-mutilating behaviors for a variety of reasons, one being to relieve the anxiety they are feeling.

Anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental illness in the U.S. Many people feel ashamed about seeking treatment. Whether or not this is the case with you, it is important that you understand you are not alone in your experience and there are ways to feel better.


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