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It's sad I even have to send you a question like this.... But please respond.
Nov 14, 2005

This may be a little long winded... but here goes.

I am a 19 year old gay college student-- and unlike every other post I have read I would like to inform you of my entire sexual history. Like many young people my age it took a while for me to understand that monogomy is a very important and healthy thing for gay, straight, bisexual ect. peoples I began my sexual adventure when I was about 16 years old. I have been sexually active with 16 people-- I have only had anal sex with two people- both had condoms and one individual did not even get off. The rest of my sexual experiences were oral and nude massaging and kissing, all that stuff. all of my oral sex activities were unprotected. I took a "Home Access" HIV test February of 05'- negative... and since then I have been with six people- none anally all unprotected oral and kissing. I have ordered another test because let's face it I am a HUGE chicken and I fear so much having something... I do of course feel like a complete skank for doing the things that I have done and wish desprately that I could take all of those things back... but I can't and I'll have to live with this. Recently I have found a guy that I truly want to be with and have a strong relationship with. But my problem is that I feel that I have been "tampered" with and that I am "used goods"-- Not only is the guilt killing me... but the fear of HIV... I'm just really scared... and the hardest part is the area which I live... no planned parenthood's withing a hundred miles... no one to talk to... I just feel like I have hit a brick wall. As I mentioned earlier I have ordered another "Home Access" kit and expect it on Friday... I'm just so scared-- and maybe I shouldn't be? I am not writing this so that you can "make me feel better" I am writting you so that I can get this off of my chest and so that I can hopefully get a straight forward answer... am I a horrible person for being with so many guys? How can I overcome these feelings... do you think I should worry about HIV?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

You are wondering if you are a "horrible person for being with so many guys???" Dude, if 16 guys makes you a "horrible person," I can't imagine an adjective "bad" enough to describe me. No, you are not a horrible person.

Do I think you should worry about HIV? Sure, we all should worry about it, because HIV/AIDS is a pandemic that affects over 40 million people! Do I think you need to be excessively worried about personally contracting HIV from your six episodes of "unprotected oral and kissing" since your last negative test? No, not really. Oral sex carries a very low risk of HIV transmission. I recommend sexually active folks get STD screening, including HIV testing every six months. How do you overcome your feeling of "skankiness" and being "used goods?" Counseling could help. I'd suggest you check the GLMA's (Gay Lesbian Medical Association) Web site. You can Google them and then click on "Health Care Referrals" and see what's available anywhere near that hick town of yours. This will hopefully help you find a gay physician and/or therapist.

Good luck on your upcoming HIV test and new relationship. I'm quite confident good news is headed in your direction!

Dr. Bob



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