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Sex with prostitute w/ condom. I am married with young family. HELP

Nov 9, 2005

Dear Bob, I recently had sex with a prostitute and it was penetrative vaginal only with a condom but the condom was not covering the whole penis to the base of my scrotum.I have hsv2 But it did not appear to be active. now 4 weeks later i have pain in the testicles and also the neck, one night of mild sweats. Bob i am married with three children,the youngest is only seven. I am beside myself, and am completely disgusted with myself. I am so despondent.Please help, could it be possible that I contracted this even with a condom on. Please answer, I am afraid for my wife more than myself. She is so innocent. I cannot function and have had some awful thoughts about what i might do caused by the shame and embarrasment of my actions. I will be sending a donation soon. That is a promise.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Protected penetrative vaginal sex is indeed protected if the latex condom was used properly and did not fail. Non-active HSV-2 would not increase your risk. Your symptoms are not worrisome for HIV ARS. I have no doubt your biggest problem at the moment is guilt, not HIV. Counseling may help. Ultimately, I would suggest you level with your wife. It's not only the most effective way to confront and cope with your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. If you remain worried, you could get an HIV test at three months. However, realize the reason to do so would be primarily to put your mind at ease. Don't be too hard on yourself. We're all human and we all make mistakes. Admitting our mistakes and learning form them is what's most important.

Thank you for your donation ( Helping others in desperate need is an excellent way to keep our own problems in their proper perspective.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Your responses help me not lose sight...
I messed up, but SHE has the symptoms

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