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I'm Married to a woman, but I have a Boyfreind, and He's pos!
Oct 19, 2005

Hey Doc. Bob, I had unprotected insertive anal with my lover(Male), and I am married to a wonderful woman...I now will not have unprotected sex with my wife...My lover is pos. my wife is not...I was drunk, so was he, I have not been with him sexually in the last 15 weeks...I tested NEG.!!! at 15 weeks....Am I able to WOO HOO?!!??!!??...I have since been "straight" with my wife, and she understands (sort of) but needs to be reasured...Please help, she will read your response...By the way, thanks for all you do and I have already donated to Concerted effort...

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

I'm glad you leveled with your wife. I'm sure that was not easy, but it certainly was the right thing to do. Your 15-week negative test is very encouraging and many would claim it to be definitive. The CDC, one of the more conservative agencies, suggests that one additional follow-up test be done at the six-month mark for individuals who have had a significant and confirmed exposure to HIV. You know your lover is positive and anal sex is considered a significant exposure, even though the risk is higher for a receptive as opposed to an insertive negative partner. Consequently, if your wife desires this level of reassurance, I would suggest you use latex condoms and water-based lube until the six-month follow-up test confirms your presumed negative status. That way you can both have confidence in your negative status.

Thank you for your contribution to our foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). Stay safe. Stay well. And I agree your wife is indeed a wonderful woman.

Good luck to you both!

Dr. Bob



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