He told me 3 weeks later he was positive!
Oct 19, 2005
Dear Dr. Bob,
Though from my own research and talking to friend I'm being told that I am being paranoid, I have found myself in what I deem to be a scary situation.
Three weeks ago I met a man and we decided to get intimate, and our intimacy included me giving him a total body massage (perfectly safe I know) and him giving me a blowjob and me giving one to him.
At the end of the action, I masturbated myself with whatever little of his saliva was still on my penis and then I masturbated him while he sat above me. He ejaculated on my chest and all over my hand.
I promptly went into the shower and showered off with soap and water, dried off and left.
Today he told me he was hiv-positive and I started freaking out. He is a nurse and reassured me that nothing happened and that he is sure I am still "very, very negative," and that I am paranoid.
Tell me, am I?
Response from Dr. Frascino
Would you be feeling differently if he never mentioned his serostatus? And if so, why? As I have mentioned so many times in the past, we must always assume our sexual partners could be HIV positive. After all, over 25% of the estimated one million Americans who are HIV positive have no idea they are infected. If you are comfortable with the potential risk level (very, very low) for oral sex, then you shouldn't be freaking out because your partner revealed his positive status. Yes, it may have been better if he told you before you hit the sheets, but that didn't happen.
I agree with the nurse's assessment that you are overly worried based on the encounter you describe; however, if you remain worried, get tested at the three-month mark to calm your fears. And in the future, make sure you set your sexual activity limits only to the point you are comfortable, O.K.?
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