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Deep kissing = Death Kissing?
Oct 19, 2005

Hello Dr bob.

Greetings from South Korea,one of my friend told me about your site and i found it an excellent information plate form for millions accross the globe.it's my second time that i have been writting you with the hope that you will reply to my question.I have always practised safer sex,condomn and water bases lubricatns,and often involved in french kissing too,as it is very low risk activity almost risk is non existant as per many web sites and also read in the archives. but theoratical risk exists..True? Almost 6 months ago i was on a business tour to Norway and i had very low risk sex activity with a male.(HIV status unknown.) i had deep kissing with him and then we masturbated only as there was no condomn so i avoided to get into anal sex. That guy kissed me deeply and used his tongue strongly into my mouth for almsot 10-15 minutes. i dont remember were there any sore or cuts in my mouth.but no teeth problem or bleeding in mouth. same night i returned back to my country and then on next day(after 30 hours of sex) i started developing following symptoms. light Diarrhea and fever, gone away with next day treatment, but I kept feeling very light fever for next 3-4 days but there was no fever as doctor told me. One week later: Nausea and low apatite problem (lasted for one day and gone away after medication) In third week: itching all over my body(1-2days) light pain in my right arm elbow( still it comes and goes back) swollen lymph node in neck(olive size which comes and goes back and still it shocks me when I feel it ) light fever( lasted 3-4 days in third week after sex and gone away after some medication.) , profuse sweating under my armpits and groin area ( lasted for 3-4 weeks) light night sweating ( 2-3 nights) stool disorder some times with burning and itching whlie passing the stool. very white tongue,like small white fur on both sides of the tongue. Mouth burning with mettalic taste on still comes and goes, cold feeling in gums and light pain in teeth (still comes and goes back since last 6 months) white hard palate, white back throat area. 7 kg weigh lost in last 6 months. In 6th week, sever muscles aching in legs which lasted for almost 3 weeks, 7th week: couple of red itching rashes on chest for 2-3 days. Light constant headache for 1-2 days, some neurological disorder (cold sensation on the top of head, less energy in arms for 1-2 days and strange feelings of sleep) 9th week: cold type problem which comes and goes and make me feel sick, 13th week: sore throat ( strep throat lasted for 3 weeks) mouth ulcer (lasted for one week) 16th week: skin problem in the palm and fingers of my hands( new skin comes again and again, still continued) joint pain, in last couple of mounths was feeling low energy in my arms and legs, numbenss in both small fingers of hands during night which went away after some days.Bad throat with swellow problem, white small areas on hand skin in the blood,very tiny red spot(like a pin head) on hand and one small patch under skin of the hand.Some times i feel close nose with light pain on face near nose and under eyes area.and some other symptoms which comes and goes back for a short while.it's almost 6 months now and i m suffering from mouth burning,swollon lymph node in neck, some times pain on face,sore thoreat,itching on body and face etc. Dr i have seen one of your archive where u have told that during french kissing hiv can be only transfered if both partner have had dental surgery and same night they did french kissing...means that it's very unlikely to transfer HIV during french kissing? I am very much afraid,depress,stressd,and panic since first days of symptoms and have become a sick man both mentaly and physically and assuming my self 100% with HIV. My friend have tried many times to take me for the test but i always refued for that.He is very worried for me and always tell me that your risk was very low and you are fine.But i tell him always that my symptoms dont allow me to think that i m not hiv+. He always ask me to enjoy and have fun but i refuse him that i dont want to spoil others life. I often think of suicide. I cant concentrate on my business and all the time i thinking of my desease in the office. Dr bob i know i have to take the test one day bcz i cant run away from it forever and i also know it will be very stressfull for me to take test. i often think of the risk involved but again my symptoms come over my mind and make me belive that i am +ve. Dr please i beg of you please help me. please tell me that "Deep kissing can be Death kissing? i have read archives there is risk for every sex activity but there is no risk given for French kissing. Please clear this and provide latest information regading french kissing.As u said in archive that test shoud be considered according the risk. What was my risk? and what are my symptoms all about if my risk was nearly non existant. Do u still belive that HIV can be only transered in the dental sergery like curcumstances? or it can be transfered during deep mouth kissing? Dr i will be very thankful to you if you answer my questions. I know you are running an organization and donation is always welcomed on the given adress. i am donating 200$ via my bank card.

Thank you .

Jun Shan.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Jun Shan,

I'm delighted you have found this Web site. Hopefully by now you've also had the opportunity to read some of the extensive archives where you'll find many, many stories similar to your own. Reading these testimonials should provide you with considerable reassurance that yes indeed your HIV risk is essentially nonexistent. Yes, I have provided statistical risk estimates for various sexual activities. The reason kissing (French or otherwise) was not listed is that the risk is so minute that it remains limited to extraordinary circumstances, such as both partners having actively bleeding gums from recent dental surgery, etc. In essence, the risk remains theoretical.

Regarding symptoms, the archives are also very clear. Symptoms, no matter what they are, do not equal HIV disease. I'll also remind you that HIV-related symptoms never occur within hours of an exposure. (You report symptoms beginning 30 hours after sex.) It takes weeks for symptoms to occur. Regarding your extensive list of symptoms, these are not consistent with HIV disease. Rather, they are very characteristic of anxiety and depression. You report you are "afraid, depressed, stressed, and panicked." I absolutely agree. You also report you are "100%" convinced you have acquired HIV. I'm 100% sure you have not!

I'm concerned that you have been thinking about suicide. Suicidal thoughts are directly related to the severity of your depression. I strongly urge you to see a psychiatrist without delay. You need treatment for your depression and anxiety, as these are very real and very significant medical problems from which we both agree you are suffering. Proper treatment can be remarkably effective.

Your degree of risk does not, in my opinion, even warrant HIV testing. However, it may be the most effective and efficient way to set your troubled mind to rest. Your fears are unwarranted. You do have a significant medical problem; however, it is not HIV.

Thank you for your very generous donation to my foundation. (www.concertedeffort.org)

With proper treatment, I'm very confident you will soon have both your mental and physical health restored.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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