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The End of Window Pain

Sep 22, 2005

Dear Dr. Bob,

Thank you for publishing my last post titled "Window Pain: The Beginning of the End".

Well, my doctor told me I tested negative at 88 (well, actually 87 and a half days) after possible exposure. Whoohoo as they say!

For the worried wells, like I was until recently, my experience was performing oral sex on an Asian female escort of unknown status in Queens, NYC and then having several minutes of protected vaginal intercourse with her using a condom that did not appear to break. My original intention was just a full body massage and a hand job, but I got a sudden case of the stupids and took it further than that.

Like other worried wells, a few days later I started poking around the internet looking for symptoms of HIV infection and when I saw white patches on my tongue, I almost had a nervous breakdown. As a happily married man with two beautiful little children, I was gripped with fear with the possibility of seeing my marriage and my life destroyed, not to mention that as the responsible one of my parents three children, I would be too sick to help take care of my mother and father when they got to old to take care of themselves.

Reading the posts of other men in this forum who had situations similar to mine was very helpful in helping me to realize that I did not have much to worry about, though of course I still could not help wondering. Dr. Bob, if you ever saw the movie Dumb and Dumber, you may remember the scene where Jim Carrey's character asks the woman he likes what his chances are of being with her, and she answers "About a million to one." Then after twisting his face deep in thought, he suddenly smiles and says "Wow, I have a chance!" I guess it was like that for me. Even though I understood that my chances of being infected were very low, all I could think sometimes was that "there's still a chance!"

But as you always say, get tested after the three month mark. And to the worried wells who don't think they can make it through the window period, take control of your life. Eat a healthier diet, try to exercise or do more physical activities like riding a bike or kayaking, donate to or volunteer for worthy causes. After all, if the three months pass and you test negative for HIV, won't it have been a waste if you spent those three months paralyzed by fear instead of working to make your life better than it was?

To wrap this up, this experience has changed my life for the better in many ways, though I will never forget the fear I had of losing what I cherished most, even if in retrospect that fear was overblown.

Thank you again for having this forum Dr. Bob. Another donation is on the way, plus I plan to make future donations to you and others to help fund HIV prevention and treatment programs. Let's all work together towards realizing a vaccine and a cure.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Well, if you've watched "Dumb and Dumber" so many times you can quote the dialog, no wonder you got "a sudden case of the stupids"! Luckily, no harm was done! WOO-HOO! Congrats!

Thank you for your donations! They are both urgently needed and warmly appreciated.

Stay well!

Dr. Bob


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