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I know you're too afraid to answer me
Sep 10, 2005

Dr. Bob, Now I know why you're not answering me, and I am scared to death. I asked you a question before about testing and insertive oral sex.

I am newly (well not so new anymore) and my fiancee want to have unprotected sex with eachother. We both had negative tests out to sex months post all exposures. I asked you very kindly to answer me because we desperately want to have that closeness with eachother. I now think that you won't answer me because you don't want to tell me that I am safe to have unprotected sex with my fiancee because you are not sure that I am HIV negative. Doctor bob, please, please I am BEGGING you to answer me I want, so badly, to share everything with him, but I feel like I can't. Please answer me this time.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You claim that I am too afraid to answer you??? And then you state you are scared to death. Hmmm . . . that strikes me as rather odd. I get the part about your being terrified, but the other part about my being afraid to answer? That's just nutso.

I haven't answered you because your answer was already waiting for you in the archives many times over! Consequently, I'll be very brief.

1. You and your "not so new" fiancé have tested out to "sex" months post all exposures. "Sex months???" O.K., if you say so. Now, assuming "sex months" is equal to or greater than six months, that means you're both negative. Good for you!

2. Now you want to have unprotected sex with your fiancé. That's entirely up to you and him. Why are you "begging" me? From an HIV/STD perspective, you now know you were both negative the day you were tested. However, I have no way of knowing if you are both still negative today. If you "want so badly to share everything with him" by having unprotected sex, you'll have to also be willing to share the risk of HIV and other STDs, even if that risk is minimal due to recent testing.

Dr. Bob



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