|re:hot third world latin boys
Sep 4, 2005
Dear Doctor, I've been reading your Q&A's for a few weeks now and I am very disappointed. A man is worried about oral sex he had with an HIV+ man he hooked up with in a foreign country, and you respond: "Good luck (although it already sounds like you got lucky)." Yes, he may have had hot sex, but he may have also have gotten something. It seems you make light of everyone's concerns. This man made a really bad decision by having unprotected sex with a stranger. You need to start to getting real with people. People are using really bad judgement and we've known about AIDS prevention for over 20 years. And you continuously bash Bush and the Republicans. We are all resposible for the decisions we make. We cannot blame Bush, Republicans, or anyone else when we have consensual sex with someone unsure of their HIV status. If we put ourselves in an unsafe situation, we have nobody to blame but ourselves should we get an STD or HIV. I'm not so sure I will give to your cause or continue to read this column. I am very disappointed in you. You are an MD.
take care and stay well, Craig
| Response from Dr. Frascino
I find it doubtful, and more than a bit sad, that if you've really been reading my responses for "a few weeks now" that you don't feel I am "real with people" or that I "make light of everyone's concerns." You do read and understand English, don't you???
I've been an HIV/AIDS specialist physician for over two decades. I'm also a person who has experienced the virus firsthand for almost 15 years. Yes, Craig, I'm HIV positive. I don't think it gets more "real" than that.
Regarding your concerns about my "Hot 3rd World Latin Boys" post, which I will repost below, the questioner clearly has several things you don't a sense of humor and a realistic attitude toward sexual risk.
The choice to read or not to read this forum is, of course, totally up to you. I can only marvel at the fact you bash folks for bad judgment, and then defend Bush . . . . Actually, that probably explains quite a bit.
I continue to stand by the information I present in this forum.
Hot 3rd world latin boys Aug 21, 2005
Dear Dr Bob:
I wrote some time ago and never recieved a response. I understand you're busy and have many other emails to answer that all pertain to similiar issues. Answering one, answers many though not directly. I have been reading the site frequently to see if my question has been answered in other emails. I think it has been but I need some clarification of "sexual terms." In your very recent response to "don discriminate people from third world country Aug 18, 2005," you gave the statistical information for acquiring HIV from insertive anal and oral sex. Now call me blond but who is the HIV infectded person in this scenario and who is the one at risk?Insertive oral sex in this situation would be who? The person "sucking the dick," or "being sucked?"
I might as well just tell you my story. I was traveling in Central America about 2 motns ago. I met an incredibly hot local latin surfer dude. The whole package: evenly tanned latin skin, 8 pack, curly black locks that glistened as the seawater dripped from his ringelts, broad surfer shoulders and a complimentary tapered waist. The Xy genes were pretty noteworthy as well.
My behavior prior to this encounter has always been overly cautious. Mutual masturbation was the extent of my activities. Being on vacation and having the voices of friends ringing in my head saying "you need to live a little" caused a moment of lapse in judgement. I took him back to my hotel and against my better judgment performed oral sex on him (just so I get the lingo correct, I sucked on him), he also sucked on me. There was no visible trace of pre-cum nor did he cum in my mouth. I did maintain some level of caution. We really enjoyed the afternoon, it was something that I really needed more emotionally than physically (if that makes sense).
The issue: I found out he is HIV positive. Because my spanish is poor and his english just as bad in addition to his dismissal of having the disease, I was unable to acquire more information. Though healthcare is socialized in his country I don't know what the treatment for HIV is or if he is even receiving treatment. If the latter is the case his viral load could be relatively high leaving me with a greater chance of infection. 3 weeks after my encounter I came down with the ever so notable and continuousely mentioned post exposure symptoms. It began with a horrible cold, which subsided and I tried hard to rationalize the million other ways I could have contracted a cold. But once that subsided I got a very odd infection in a sebaceous gland or hair follicle in my leg. It happened so rapidly that within days it was out of control and I had to have it lanced, drained and was put on anitbiotics. Of course along with the infection in my leg I got swollen lymph nodes in my groin (another sign). You'd think we were looking for the apocolypse with all these things we become so acutely aware of when we are scared to death. I just have to laugh at myself because you can really drive yourself insane.
I went to my physician to do lab work for all the other STD's I might have acquired. I came up clean. I went for the rapid quick test at the local anonymous testing center at 28 days. This came up negative. I know the definitive is 3 months but I'm wondering if the 28 day was worth it at all. In the literature I have read it says the average person has enouogh antibodies at 25 days to test positive. For once in my life I'm praying to be average. I'm a statistical guy, can you give the stats for my risk of exposure and any other advice or words of encouragement you may have to offer. In my mind I know the odds are slim but there are still odds and this is my concern. Im just so irritated with myself because I have been so cautious all of my adult sexual life and if I contract this way, it seems almost unfair. If I do contract I'll be fine. I try to keep a positive outlook on all things in life and with the bad always comes good. I guess I'm hoping that the bad passes me by this time.
Thank you Dr. Bob for your great forum. It has been helpful in this doubtful time.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hey JD (a.k.a. "Blondie"),
Regarding suckers and suckees, here's the scoop: The estimated per-act risk of acquiring HIV for an HIV-negative blond horned up vacationing dude being sucked off by an evenly tanned, eight-packed, curly black locks (glistening with sea water), broad surfer shouldered, tapered waist, Latin surfer dude is 0.5 per 10,000 exposures. (For all the blondes out there, this is "insertive," because you are inserting your Mr. Happy into the non-English speaking 3rd World hot Latin boy.)
The HIV risk for receptive oral sex (positive hot Latin surfer dude dick going into negative vacationing blond-boy mouth) is 1 per 10,000 exposures.
Your 28-day negative HIV test is encouraging; however, you'll have to wait at least three months for a definitive result. Your symptoms are not worrisome for HIV ARS.
Now that we've answered your question, can you send up some pics of the "Hot 3rd World Latin Boy" surfer dude?
Good luck (although it already sounds like you got lucky).
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