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white tongue, nerves wrecked

Aug 28, 2005

Sir, I really need an honest answer, all alone here, no one I can talk to. 40 days ago I had given a guy oral sex, he ejaculated in my mouth. About two weeks later I had this thick white film on my mouth, my doctor said it was thrush. No other symptoms, no fever or anything, but I saw where thrush is an early sign that I may have been infected. i went and had a blood test done just yesterday which is right at the 39-40 day mark and they told me it was negative. Can't sleep, no appetite, losing a few pounds from worry. Married so my wife thinks something's up. Should I tell her or am I worried about nothing? Thank you and please respond, I need someone to tell me the truth. Thank you again, sir.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. Your negative test at 40 days is extremely encouraging; however, HIV tests taken prior to the three-month mark are not considered definitive. Your problems insomnia, anorexia, weight loss are related to guilt and anxiety.

Should you level with your wife? Yes. I really do believe honesty is not only the best policy, but that it's also the right thing to do! It's also the most effective way to confront your fears, guilt and anxiety. Latex condoms should be used until your three-month definitive test.

Are you "worried about nothing?" No, you are worried about the consequences of your actions. Do I think you've contracted HIV? No, statistically the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. However, testing and being honest with yourself and your wife are still essential.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

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