Please answer doc - donating to you now
Aug 22, 2005
Last week I went to a strip club in Las Vegas. To make a long story short she invited me to her home. Before any activity occurred I asked if she had any diseases. She said no. I ended up having unprotected oral sex on her and protected vaginal sex. She did say she had just finished her period the day before but I did not see any blood. My concern is that after I had ejaculated I slipped out of the condom and it remained inside her and my unprotected penis could have come in contact with her fluids. I am pretty sure (but not positive) that the condom remained on until I ejaculated becuase my fluids were all over my penis. All in all I was probably in her about 1-3 minutes.
I am so petrified that I have caught HIV or some other disease whilst withdrawing. I have a wife and child on the way and I am so scared. I do not want to pass anything to her and if there is a chance I have contracted something I will tell her even though it will be the end of my marriage. This has taught me a huge lesson and to be thankful of what I have.
After the activity I did notice that she had some whitish dried discharge on her vagina but I did not perform oral sex there. I was so pertired of the experirence that I have been a wreck all week. I do know where the girl lives and I have called her since to please confirm to me that she does not have any diseases. She called back and told me she did not know of anything and that she was tested 5 months ago and was negative. She said I am freaking out way too much. I want to believe her but considering her profession I have a difficult time doing so. Would someone be so heartless to lie about this? I just want to make sure that if I did potentailly be exposed to something I can tell my wife.
Please help doctor - your board is reassuring but what is the likihood I caught something from this encounter. Since Sunday I have been experirenceing a constant need to pee and the pee is very yellow. No burning but when I focus there I always feel there is a tingle and a need to pee. Did I get a tract infection from her. If so, does that mean I was exposed to HIV too? I am so pertified right now. Is there anything else I caould have caught and when can I get tested for those.
I hear I have to wait three months for a HIV test but can I get a pcr test in 4 weeks - I hear that there is a likelihood of a false positive. I have heard from other experts that a 6 week test is definitive and that a 4 week test is 80 - 90% accurate - I cant wait to get tested as I am so scared that I may lose everthing so dear to me - my wife and my unborn chid.
Please help. I am losing my mind and very anxious. Please give me your honest assessment doctor. I very much appreciate your response. Donating now to your foundation.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You state, "I was so pertired of the experirence that I have been a wreck all week." Hmmm . . . "pertired of the experirence???" O.K., if you say so.
I have no doubt you are indeed "desperate" and have correctly identified your major problem when you write "I am losing my mind and very anxious . . . . I am so scared that a may lose everything so dear to me . . . ." Consequently, the first thing you must do is confront your guilt and anxiety over this issue. The best way to do that is to level with your wife. Accepting the consequences of your actions is not only the best way to cope with your anxiety and guilt, it's also the right thing to do. We are all human. That means we all make mistakes. Learning from our mistakes is what is really important. Relationships built on honesty are the most successful even when telling the truth is painful and very challenging. Counseling may also help you cope with your current emotional problems.
Regarding HIV, your risk of transmission is low, but not completely nonexistent. I generally do not recommend PCR testing for routine screening, because of the high false-positive rate. HIV-antibody tests taken before three months are not considered definitive. During the three-month window period, while waiting for a conclusive result, latex condoms should be used. If you are having symptoms possibly indicative of a STD, other than HIV, you can be screened for those conditions by your physician now.
Thank you for your donation. I'll send back my good-luck karma that your definitive three-month test is negative and hope that by facing this challenge together, you and your wife build an even stronger relationship.
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