Not Stupid, Am Scared
Aug 22, 2005
Let's start at the beginning... a nightclub in an Estonian town on a stag weekend about four months back.
On the Friday night I stumbled back to my hotel with a middle aged local women (no idea about her sexual history but she was obviously easy). I wanted to Donald Duck her but she was bleeding from between her legs (there was blood on her inner thigh and she wore a sanitary towel) and she said no.
Instead, I licked her backside (I've since found out this is called rimming)I then tried to shag her anally but again she said no - though the tip of my penis certainly rubbed against her anus (or at least between her legs)The encounter finished with her giving me unprotected oral sex until she swallowed.
Three days later, on the Monday evening (following five days of extremely heavy drinking, - 6am finishes - half a gram of speed, some weed and an awful plane journey and car ride home)I began to get hot and cold flushes immediately after collapsing exhauseted on my bed. I also had clammy skin, bad night sweats for 2 nights, a fever for roughly the same amount of time, really bad, disorientated dreams, a headache that lasted a day or more and a sore throat that (worryingly) went on for about 3 weeks. My tongue had a mildly yellow coating and still does - though I've poked it out in front of friends and most say it's normal or that their tongue is not much different. I didn't (to my knowledge) experience swolen glands or a rash. I had one instance of the runs but that was about 10 minutes after reading about HIV symptoms on the internet. I also had two or three mouth ulcers about a month ago.
My main questions are:
1. Can ARS appear as soon as 3 days after exposure? Is there any proof that excessive alcohol intake can speed up the process?
2. I know that it's rare to catch HIV from rimming but does the presence of blood on the women increase my chances of infection (especially as my penis tip touched an area that could have contained contaminated blood)There was no blood on her anus as I recall but I suppose even a tiny amount in the general area could have made its way into my mouth.
3. My teeth and gums are not the healthiest in the world but neither are they disgusting. My gums often bleed a little when I clean my teeth. Could the virus have gotten into my bloodstream through my gums on the night I described. (Even if infected blood did get in my mouth wouldn't the alcohol have destroyed such a small amount of teh virus?)
Please let me know if you think I am 'in trouble'. Would you say that I am at risk? And to what degree?
This very real nightmare is destroying my life. Besides becoming quite withdrawn from day-to-day life I'm also finding myself becoming depressed that I've let down my family and I often daydream about when I was a child. This is not me! HELP!
Please, please, please answer this or at least pass it on to a colleague who can answer.
Thanks very much for taking the time to read my question.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Please note this forum is dedicated to folks confirmed to be HIV positive who have questions related to fatigue and anemia. Questions pertaining to HIV-transmission risk, sex, and HIV testing and prevention should be posted to The Forum on Safe Sex and HIV Prevention. Consequently, I'll respond only very briefly and refer you to that forum if you need additional information or have other related concerns. O.K.?
1. HIV ARS usually occurs several weeks, not days, after exposure. Alcohol does not "speed up" the process.
2. There have been no reported cases of HIV transmission from rimming or getting rimmed.
3. Almost anything is "possible," but this would be extremely, extremely unlikely.
If you have placed your self at risk for STDs, including HIV, you should be tested. HIV tests taken prior to three months are not considered definitive.
Are you "in trouble?" Well, five days of heavy drinking to 6 AM, a half gram of speed, some weed and stumbling back to your hotel with a menstruating middle-aged hooker who you wanted to Donald Duck is indeed more than a bit concerning.
I would suggest that in addition to your STD/HIV screening, you level with your wife and get counseling to help with your self-destructive behavior and substance abuse. And stop poking your tongue out at friends or they won't be friends for very long.
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