Dear Dr. Bob,

I am one of those freaking husbands that had a one night affair (or better said 20 minutes) with a sex worker. Deep kissing, oral and vaginal sex with condom. Both guilt and worries of infecting my wife made me test myself after 4 weeks on p24 and antibodies; the result was negative.

I know that my risk was low, maybe unexisting, but the doctor informed me to come back in 5 months, the 3 months test was not necessary. The idea of waiting 3 more months is making me feel very nervous and i wonder if it is absolutely necessary.

I will donate to your foundation at least the same amount, as I spent on the 'farm of joy' and the testing together.

Thank you for your site and all the best for you.

Un toro caliente from Spain..

Hello Spanish Toro Caliente,

If the latex condom was used properly and did not fail, your risk of HIV transmission would be essentially nonexistent. However, if you are worried and feel there may have been a possible exposure, a single test at three months would be considered definitive and conclusive. Your four-week antibody and p24 negative test is very encouraging, but not definitive.

I do not believe you have any cause for concern from an HIV perspective. Guilt seems to be the biggest problem at the moment. The best way to confront that problem is to level with your wife. Although I realize that won't be easy, it is the most effective way to cope with guilt and it's the right thing to do.

Good luck, Toro Caliente, and thank you for your generous donation to my foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). Helping others in desperate need is an effective way to rack up excellent cosmic karma. We'll all send our best good-luck karma that your three-month definitive test remains negative.

Dr. Bob