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Came clean with wife, Dr. Bob I need your help

Aug 16, 2005

Dr. Bob, First let me say that I have been in your forum a lot over the last 2 weeks and I find you to be truly amazing. I had a sexual encounter with 2 other men same occasion, oral sex. I have not had sex with anyone but my wife before that in 13 years. I found "the body" after I began to freak out, realizing I have had some bumps in my throat for quite some time before this encounter. I know that though oral sex has low risk, the risk is higher with mouth issues. I did not sleep for days, lost 15 pounds from not eating and have had swelling in my throat (I hope from anxiety and lack of sleep). I read all the anxious "oral sex" questions trying to make myself feel better. I was dying inside. On your advice to other people I came clean with my wife and told her of my concerns about possible HIV exposure even though the 2 mens status is unknown to me. She has blown me away with her understanding and support, even though I possibly put her at risk also.

I did not mean to get long winded, I just thought this might help someone else in my same situation.

Now to my question and my need for your advice. I just got an HIV test from my regular doctor at 10 days. Obviously I am anxious to wooo--hooo and can afford to do a pcr dna, do you think this is a good choice?

I made a donation to your foundation as I have a new deep respect for you and your cause and hope to soon have a new lease on life... Thank you in advance..

Response from Dr. Frascino


So first you get blown by two guys simultaneously and then you get "blown away" by your wife???? Hmmm . . . . Wow, Dude, you have been having quite a lucky week.

O.K., on to your question. Oral sex, as you probably have learned if you've "been on this forum a lot over the last two weeks," carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. I generally do not recommend PCR testing for routine HIV screening due to the possibility of false-positive tests. Although I do find PCR DNA testing sometimes helpful in diagnosing acute HIV disease in the period prior to the development of detectable anti-HIV antibodies. For your minimal to negligible risk, I would recommend only a single HIV ELISA test at the three-month mark.

I think your wife is a classy lady. I wish you both health and much happiness. The best relationships are built on honesty and facing challenges together.

I'll send you both my best good-luck karma that your definitive test remains negative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

HIV playing Hide n seek

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