|HIV+ From unprotected insertive Oral.. . .
Aug 6, 2005
I know u dont care and im sure u have your own problems and wont repond but i just wanted to tell you I got Hiv From unprotected oral....2 months ago... I was with a girl and had a minute of unprotected sex then protected intercourse....Then 2 hours later again one minute unprotected oral and protected vaginal then something of a mutual masterbation where i feel i could have transfered vaginal fluid from the condom to my dick(after pulling out i masterbated with the condom on for a few minutes and then removed the condom and finished masterbating with the same hand till completion.....Im %100 sure im positive with out a doubt and i know i the condom didnt rip or anything..... I got tested at 7 weeks with a antibodies after 5 days of symptoms that came back negative.....but i know they dont mean sht during ARS.....The Reason im sure i have HIV is because i have Ohl on the back lateral side of my tongue near my molar...I know its ohl because they're light grey verticle folds on the side of my tongue ...at first i thought it was due to checking my tongue every 20 minutes stretching it out and pulling it to each side but now im sure it is ohl because i've now developed ohl on my Buccal Mucosa in side both cheeks (thin white film on the walls) thought at first it was maybe due because of heavy smoking for the last 12 years but it resembles ohl too much and does not look like any other lesions that i've looked at....Since Ohl is mainly only found in HIV+ and people with organ transplants i know im positive forsure....My other symptoms i been having for the last 10 days are Very swollen Lymph Nodes on the neck ,Nausea,Headaches,Muscle ache,abdominal pains that come and go,Couple episodes of Diarrhea,and slight sore throat with a light cough...I even tryed blaming my symptoms on a possible Tick bite that i got when i was fishing just prior to feeling ARS symptoms because i found a tick in my bedroom a week after and they developed...Now im worryed about possibly have lyme disease to go along with my new death sentence because i noticed a small dot that developed to bulls-eye looking red rash that has been slowly expanding in diameter with a clear center that seems to be E.M of the tick Bite...Thursday(8 weeks after infection) i went and took a PCR test because i had no patience to wait another month to take the 12 week antibodies test.....Now i feel stupid because i spent 230 dollars for a test that i already know it's going to be...Now to top off all my recent good Luck Im worryed about my g/f of 6 years being infected.....she hasn't shown any symptoms yet and i just been waiting for her to call one day when she's at work that she not feeling well...we never use protection she use's B.C and i never ejaculate inside her...had sex maybe twice since my exposure during the first week or 2 ,been staying away ever since because i was having very bad feelings about that god damn day....I Swear as long as she isn't infected i dont care....I just dont want to fuck up her life for me being stupid and selfish...She means everything to me and i cant believe i did this....Another thing that makes me pissed is i never was really the one out trying to pick up other girls and cheat on my G/f but this girl just fell into my lap with out me doing anything i swear...It like it was just ment to be, Like it was all already writen before anything happened even felt this way before i even had any symptoms at all .... As i kept thinking about it i just knew i fuck'd my whole life up ....as long as she's not positive i'll be alright even if she leaves me ill still be ok...but if she is positive i just dont know what im going to do, I cant go through it, I just hope if there is a god that he spares her because she dont deserve it,all she ever does is work and take care of me and her family doesnt party or hang out smoke drink or anything...She just got a good job with GlaxoSmithKline a year ago and all she cares about is getting married, having a family and being healthy ....as for me im a piece of shit it hard to fucken tell
Was hoping i was going to be one of your WW's and was hoping i'd get to write a email too saying im negative and how relieved i am thats its over with.....Instead its just the tip of the iceberg of problems that will unfold in these next few weeks
Even though u never replyed to my email's thanks for the breif moments of hopefulness that let me go to asleep at night
Now all i can do is just wait and hope that those chances of 6 in 10,000 or what ever work out to my G/F's favor
Thanks again -Take care
| Response from Dr. Frascino
First, take three big, cleansing yoga breaths in . . . and out. Go ahead; we'll wait. There, now doesn't that feel better?
So you are "100% sure" you contracted HIV from oral sex. Hmmm . . . here we go again! And you are "100% sure, without a doubt," because of your self-diagnosed oral hairy leukoplakia??? Hmmm . . . now remind me again what medical school you graduated from???
Your seven-week HIV-antibody test is negative; your $230 PCR is pending and you're freaking out over your girlfriend, who "hasn't shown any symptoms yet???" O.K., time to repeat those calming yoga breaths once again. Go ahead; we're used to waiting for you by now. Want to make a little wager that your HIV PCR comes back undetectable???
Dude, you sum up by saying, ". . . as for me im a piece of shit it hard to fucken tell." I have absolutely no idea what that even means, but I can guess you are having some guilt and self-worth issues here. Right?
Let me try to be blunt and succinct to offset your rather obtuse and verbose ramblings.
1. I do not believe you are HIV positive.
2. I do not believe your symptoms are related to HIV, because I do not believe you are HIV positive.
3. Did I mention I do not believe you are HIV positive?
Here's what you need to do:
1. Your guilt and anxiety over this issue are impressive and need to be dealt with. I recommend you level with your girlfriend. It's the best way to confront and cope with your guilt. You may well need professional counseling as well to help you cope with your irrational HIV fears.
2. A single HIV-antibody test at three months will give you a definitive answer. Statistically, the odds are astronomically in your favor.
3. The "tip of the iceberg of problems that will unfold . . ." is not related to HIV infection, but rather to irrational fear of an HIV infection and guilt. You need to get help for this iceberg tip. If not, it could sink you like the iceberg that sank the Titanic! Except you'll drown in a sea of anxiety and despair!
Finally, regarding girls that just "fall into your lap" without your doing anything, I'm a bit skeptical. I thought the song said "It's Raining Men!?!?"
I'll expect your WW testimonial to be arriving sometime soon. Until then, read the archives, paying particular attention to the gazillion other anxious wrecks who were "100% sure, without a doubt" they contracted HIV from oral sex. O.K.?
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