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plenty of oral sex throughout the years
Jul 10, 2005

Hi Doc:

Well I took the plunge and finally went to see me doc about an HIV test. Now I have to wait three weeks and its killing me. Im a heterosexual male from Ontario and have received plenty of oral sex throughout the years (a few from the odd prostitute). For the most part, when sex is involved, I have used condoms; except for a few girls I dated. But now I cant help but feel that I really didnt know them either. Thought I did at the time.

Here it is. I dont know what Im hoping to hear but I really am freaking out. The wait is killing me. I think Ive been online for a few days now, learning all I can. As strange as it is, I also joined a few support groups, in case the news is bad. Ive even thinking about talking some time off work and sleeping until the test results come back. Thats just the way I am.

Is it normal to feel this way? Are the odds in my favor? Any tips of dealing with anxiety? Also, if everything works out, I was thinking about asking any future partners for their test results. Is this a little too much? One thing is for sure. If all is well, Mr. Willies staying in his pants for a bit. And Mr. Condom is going to be my new best friend.

p.s. you have to be the funniest doc around. You sure have a way of making people feel better.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Worried Guy,

I'm glad you took the plunge after all the activity your personal plunger has had in the past. So on to your questions:

1. Is it normal to feel this way? Sure, everyone gets anxious waiting for their test results. That's why I recommend the rapid tests whenever possible. Results are back in 20 minutes, which is hardly enough time to have a complete psychotic breakdown.

2. Are the odds in your favor? Abso-frickin'-lutely! Just review the archives of this forum. You will find many encouraging testimonials there.

3. Should you ask future partners for their test results? Not if you expect to get a second date. Actually, I'm kidding. But I don't really think, this approach is all that advisable. Aside from being "off-putting," it is also unreliable. A person could have become infected since their last test, tested during the window period, used an unreliable testing technique or just hand you a phony report. Even if someone straps a lie detector on their Mr. Happy, I still would not believe them. Mr. Condom should indeed be your (and everyone's) new best friend.

4. Tips for dealing with anxiety? Should you take time off form work and hibernate under the covers until the results are back. Should you join more HIV-positive support groups just in case the news is bad? Hmmm . . . the best tip for dealing with anxiety is to try to avoid it in the first place. That brings us back to Mr. Condom being your best friend, so you don't have to deal with situations like this. But since you are already in this unfortunate situation, I suggest you not be pessimistic. I recommend you spend some time helping others who are less fortunate than you. Volunteer your services at an AIDS hospice, read the new Harry Potter book to someone who has gone blind from CMV retinitis, visit with hospitalized AIDS patients whose families have abandoned them, volunteer at your local Meals-On-Wheels program or PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support), an organization that helps care for AIDS patients' pets if they are too ill to do so themselves. If the whole HIV/AIDS thing is just too scary for you, perhaps you could volunteer some time at a children's cancer ward. Sign up for your local Breast Cancer Walk or Diabetes 10 K Run. The possibilities are endless. Spending your time hiding in your bed, afraid to peek out from under the covers is not a good idea. Helping others by committing your time, energy or resources is often the best way to keep our own problems in their proper perspectives. Give it a try. It works for me. And it's a foolproof way to rack up excellent cosmic karma!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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