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Hello Italian Stallion...Trying to preventing other innocent people from getting infected
Jun 5, 2005

Hi Dr. Robert Franscino. First off I'd like to say that your are truley an angel sent from heaven! You don't know how many lives you touch. I know you have a zillion emails but I desperately need your help. Here's my situation, I pretty much already know I have HIV, and came to that realization today. Here are the reasons why. About 12 days ago I engaged in a stupid act...I had unprotected sex with a girl I met through someone I knew from college. We went back to my place both somewhat buzzed from the alcohol we had consumed at the bar. We got intimate (kissing and fingering) and I went and grabbed a condom. Came back and she was no longer wanting to do it (this happened twice). I was fine with that and decided to just go to sleep. In the middle of the night (I believe several hours had passed by) I vividly remember her crawling on top of me caressing my penis and inserting it into her vagina. I was half awake and half asleep so I don't even remember completely what went on but I did remember that she inserted it but not too much after that. I did not realize that I had climaxed in her until I woke up in the morning and felt a wet spot on the bed and took a look to see that it was coming from under her. I placed my finger in her vagina to find it still containing my fluids. I started to panic and I asked her why she did what she did. She said she didn't even remember doing it, which I don't believe. The reason I don't is b/c we had gotten close to having sex twice, before we fell asleep, but both times when I grabbed a condom she didn't want to do it anymore. Then in the midle of the night she is ok with having unprotected sex. In my mind I have come to the conclusion that she had planned it. Besides the the fact that she did not want to do it when I grabbed a condom and then taking advantage of me when I was asleep; she had a choice to go home with her friend from the bar but she decided to come home with me, a guy she had just met that night. Her best friend also did not try and stop her. All this sounds very shady to me.

Anyways here are the symptoms I have developed. After about 4 days, my neck was very sore, especially the back of my neck. I believe from swollen lymph nodes. 7 days afer the the intercourse I developed a reddish rash on my upper trunk. It was a bit itchy that's why I knew it was there. My stomach had red little bumps. I also developed a bump on my lip which felt like a bug bit me there. After a couple of hours they disappeared. This is very parallel to the rash described in the forums (face and trunk). 3 days later after the rash incident I developed a sore throat in the morning. Which went away in the afternoon. But was still scratchy. Now I am developing rashes in different areas of my body (underarm, armpits, knees, ankles) I also have some blistery-looking bumps on my hands. I know this my body letting me know it is fighting off a virus, which will most likely be HIV. I know my body pretty well and this has never happened. The girl also mentioned in the morning after that she had gotten a rash about a week before, which worries me.

The fever has not yet occurred but looking at the pattern it will most likely come in the next few days.

My biggest fear is what I'm going to tell my family and an ex-girlfriend that I love (we had planned on getting back together). Other than that I have accepted responsibity for what happened although I feel I was somewhat taken advantage of. I'm still keeping in contact with that girl and I plan on asking her take a test with me and if she refuses and plans on infecting others I will report her to authorities. Is that a good idea? Do you know who I should contact? I don't want her to infect more people and ruin their lives as well.

I'm very sad at this point. Any advice would be great Robert.

Thanks. I look forward to your response.

Sleepless in LA

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey Sleepless in L.A.,

You pretty much already "know" you have HIV??? Hmmm . . . . Sleepless, do you know how many times a day folks tell me that? No, of course you don't, because you would have no way of knowing. Right? Well, same thing applies to your self-diagnosis. You have absolutely no way of knowing. Symptoms do not equal HIV disease!

OK, let's examine your situation. In the middle of the night, you "vividly remember her crawling on top of me caressing my penis and inserting it into her vagina." Yes, I suppose that is the kind of thing one would vividly remember. Next, you say you were half awake and half asleep, so you don't remember completely what went on. Well, I bet I can guess which half was awake anyway. So next we fast forward to the morning when you found a wet spot in the bed and traced the source by fingering her vagina and finding your fluids. OK, if you say so.

Next, your symptoms. Your sore neck and rash are not consistent with (or "parallel to") HIV ARS.

So you are wondering if it's a good idea to report this little nocturnal vixen to the authorities if she refuses to get HIV tested. Hmmm, well, I don't think it's a good idea if you're expecting to get another date with her. Nor does it make any sense. You may or may not have been taken advantage of during this vodka-soaked mattress mambo, but the problem right now is yours, not hers. More than likely, both you and Miss Nitey-Nookie are negative. If she voluntarily agrees to get tested, fine. But threatening her is not warranted or helpful. My advice is that if you're having symptoms that are persistent or worrisome, see your doctor for a checkup. They are most likely not related to HIV -- other than perhaps fear of HIV. Since you've had unprotected sex, you'll need an HIV test in three months, symptoms or not. At this point, your degree of worry is out of proportion to any real risk. I do not believe Miss Nitey-Nookie was on a secret mission to contaminate you with HIV.

Sleepless, be reasonable. Go take a nap. Relax. Get counseling if necessary. Take up yoga. And definitely take a read through the archives of this forum. You should find the many testimonials there both enlightening and encouraging.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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