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Boyfriend recently recently diagnosed with AIDS(not HIV)
May 26, 2005

Hi Dr. Rob,

Recently 3 months ago my boyfriend was diagnosed with PCP and later with AIDS. Currently he is on 2 drugs an anti-retro viral and a PI. Everything is fine with his viral load and CD-4 count. As selfish as this sounds the question is more towards me and my health. He is 42 and an engineer with intel and can afford his meds. I on the other hand am 22 and a nursing student and could'nt afford treatment. Im still with my boyfriend we rarely have sex and i wanted to know if what i am doing could be unsafe?

We don't kiss, we only masturbate together and he has a thing where he likes me suck on his nipples, however when im done doing this i have a wierd taste in my mouth, should there be any cause for concern? What kinds of safe sex can we have and can we have open mouth kisses anymore?

Oh yeah one other question to clear everything. I am worried about his life expectancy. He has already had PCP, has AIDS, viral load i think was around 850 and his CD4 is at 250 and climbing (was before 15). He always talks about death and thinks he will die the next flu season. I really care alot about this guy and just would like a heads up about what I should be expecting.

Thank you for your feedback!

Mike ;)

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Mike,

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend's recent diagnosis. Hopefully he's working with an HIV/AIDS specialist. If not, he should be. Regarding his treatment, two-drug combos are generally considered less potent and effective than three-drug regimens. Perhaps one of his pills is a fixed-drug-combination pill containing two or more individual drugs (such as Combivir or Truvada). At any rate, if his CD4 count has climbed form 15 to 250 in three months, he's doing very well. Hopefully his viral load will drop to undetectable levels soon.

Now, on to your question. Mutual masturbation and nipple noshing is not considered a risk for HIV transmission. This is assuming your nipple nibbling doesn't consist of Dracula-style blood sucking.

As for what kind of safe sex you can have, that is entirely up to the two of you. You need to create safer-sex rituals that you both agree to, taking into account what each of you feels is safe (or unsafe), based on your individual comfort level and the medical facts. You can read about the medical facts in the archives and also at the HIV Insite Safer Sex Methods Web site, http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=kb-07-02-02.

As for your partner's life expectancy, no one has a crystal ball, but if he's focused on death rather than living with AIDS, this is not a healthy mental attitude. I see no reason why he should fear next year's flu season! Just remind him to get a flu shot next fall! You might also suggest he consider joining an HIV support group, as he could use an attitude readjustment!

Stay well, Mike. Good luck in nursing school.

Dr. Bob



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