Straight Republican Male loves Dr. Bob
May 26, 2005
Hi Dr. Bob, You are simply a class act thru and thru.
Been through the archives, saw similarities, still worried. Lap dance and unprotected hand job from S. American stripper, perhaps with vaginal fluid on hand. Along with heavy grinding through my shirt only (naked underneath, she totally naked)groin to groin/ may have made some direct genital contact briefly. Head of penis is red and burns since 4 days post event. Tested negative at board of health 16 days afterward. Been to uroligists, primary doc, dermatologist, infectious disease specialist. Was given Cipro,Metronidizole, Zithromax and injection in the butt for Sphyilis just in case. Went so far as to have a cystoctopy, that hurt like crazy. Pain still persists months later. All dr.s say I am fine, other than some HPV warts that were found and frozen off, perhaps eczema too. Please give me some more hope as I approach my 90th day. I am to be married in Dec. Thanks for your help.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hi Straight Republican Male Who Loves Dr. Bob,
Hmmmmmmm, another married, anxiety- and guilt-ridden straight Republican male with warts who's recently spent time at the Badda-Bing, bumping uglies with Pussy Galore from South America, is in love with me??? Gosh, that's the seventh one this week. Note to self: "Self, it's time to try a new cologne."
If you've had multiple meds, a butt shot and a cystoscopy, I'd say you've suffered enough. I totally agree with "all the doctors," who say you are fine at least from an STD/HIV perspective.
My advice is simple:
1. Regarding HIV fuhgeddaboutit!
2. Regarding your anxiety and guilt, level with your wife.
3. For future reference, to be safe, just remember, if you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket, OK?
4. Vote Democrat.
Stay safe. Stay well.
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