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In Panic, Nervous and Confused

May 20, 2005

Dr. Bob:

I will try once more to capture your attention. I hope it helps because I need the help -- although my psychologist loves it.

I wrote you the other night regarding a recent experience in a massage parlor. In summary, a very brief exposure to oral and then I left. I was tested for all of the STD's and came back clean, but at the 8th week I panicked thinking I had HIV.

I was tested then (not much use) and was negative. I then was tested at the 12th week plus 1 day (85 days). It was negative. In reading the archives, I feel that I am now safe and clear of any problems. Especially since this was a no to minimal risk exposure. As my son is graduating I just want to enjoy it, but my local doc says wait a while longer before getting over it. The CDC said wait until after 90 days then test and then retest at 6 months to be sure. Here is my issue: 1. If I wait 6 months my marriage is over. Not a good thing especially for one night of stupidity in 20 years. 2. I do not want to ruin my son's graduation, but hopefully the xannax will get me through it. 3. Could you just answer the question of whether or not I can forget this issue given the negative result at 85 days and move on or should I be retested this week and then again at 6 months?

I am sending in three installments contributions to your cause. It will be under my screen name and will come in the future. I really appreciate the work that you and everyone else do helping us deal with our issues. Some of us, like me, deserve the punishment we get. Others do not. I also have learned more from this one experience about life than from anything else. I really look forward to hearing from you.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Panicked, Nervous and Confused,

Panicked, nervous and confused! Wow, now there's an anxiety trio if I ever saw one! It's also an apt description of Dubya when he's asked a question by the press corps that he hasn't planted or been coached on how to respond.

In my opinion, "a very brief exposure to oral" in a massage parlor followed by repeated negative ELISA tests out to 85 days would definitively indicate you are HIV negative. If your local doc really wants you to "wait awhile longer before getting over it," I'd suggest you waste no time getting over him. You are HIV negative. Go enjoy your son's graduation. Save the Xanax for when he introduces you to his new girlfriend a shaved-headed, multiply pierced, cross dressing, barely legal French prostitute with a tattoo of the evil eye on her forehead who wants to get married immediately ("before the baby comes") and move to a commune in North Korea.

Thanks for your contributions to my foundation. They are urgently needed and warmly appreciated. Donation information can be found on the Foundation's Web site at

Stay well!

Dr. Bob

Masturbate after shaking hand with HIV person.
Receptive Oral Sex - the real deal

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