I am at the Suicide Point
May 13, 2005
I am freaking out. About 2 years ago, I met a man that I had a sexual encounter with. I used protection when I "did-him" and he never "did-me". I am a pitcher, not a catcher. Anyways, I also let him give me oral without protection. I did not finish, and the oral would ussualy not last long. I saw this man about 4-5 more times, the last encounter being about 6-8 months ago. During these other encounters, I again used protection when I did him, but he performed oral on me like the first time.
I went looking for this same person about a month ago, and I was told by his friend that he had to move home to his family because he was dying of aids. I am so freaked out.
I went to the emergency room in late february, when I heard the news. They did a "rapid-HIV test" and it came back negagive. I again had a normal HIV antibody test dont in march. Again Negagive. When can I get back to a normal life. I am so ready to just end it all.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You are considering suicide because your HIV tests have come back repeatedly negative six-eight months after your last potential exposure??? Hmmmm.. Am I missing something here?
Listen up guy. Your HIV risk is minimal at best (protected "pitching" and unprotected oral). Your HIV tests out to six-eight months are repeatedly negative. This means you are conclusively and definitively HIV negative. This is good news, not a reason to freak out and commit hari-kari!
HIV is not your problem. If you cannot accept this good news and return to your normal life, you should seek counseling. The only ting you should be "ready to just end" is all this unwarranted anxiety and foolish talk of suicide. OK?
Congratulations on your negative HIV tests. You dodged the bullet!
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