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oral sex, precum maybe the 3rd time is the charm for a BIG donation

May 10, 2005

Dr. Bob -

While I know this may be old hat to you, some of us are a little slow on the pick-up. So, in exchange for a foundation donation, here goes again....

Two weeks ago I had oral sex with a man whom I met via a personal ad. I am in a monogamous relationship with a woman and this is the first time I have ever done anything like this. I performed oral sex on him for about three minutes and he did the same to me. Neither of us ejaculated in the others mouth, but via masturbation on our own stomachs. We did not come into contact with the others semen.

Since this episode, I have been worried sick about the possibility that I have put myself at risk for HIV. He is married to and said he had a HIV test a year ago and it was negative. He also told me that he had one other encouter a month ago and had anal sex with a condom (he was the pitcher, not the catcher).

I did not have bleeding gums or any open sores in my mouth that I am aware of, but I guess there is the possibility that I may have gotten some of his precum in my mouth. I don't know though. I called the CDC hotline and they have really scared me.

In your opinon, do you think I should be tested for HIV? and if so when is the ABSOLUTE soonest I could do so (CDC says as early as 2 weeks, bute says 3 months)?

I am dying with anxiety. I am scared I have screwed up everything on a one time mistake.

Thank you for your time, and I will send a donation. Hope to hear from you.


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi JJ,

I've addressed concerns like yours numerous times before, so I'll be brief and refer you to the archives for a more detailed discussion, OK?

Oral sex carries a low risk for HIV transmission. Your overall HIV risk is extremely low (brief encounter, no ejaculation, HIV status of partner unknown, etc.). If, however, you feel you've placed yourself at risk for HIV, you should be tested. The current recommendations suggest an ELISA test at the three-month mark.

If you are "dying with anxiety," you may need some help with that problem during the three-month window period. Talk to your doctor. There is no doubt your worries are way out of proportion to the degree of actual risk.

Donations to my foundation ( will provide crucial services for men, women and children living with HIV/AIDS. However, please note donations have no influence on which questions I select for posting. Donations are voluntary and not related to my work here at The Body. They should only be made with a spirit of generosity, compassion and a desire to help others who are struggling to survive with HIV/AIDS. OK?

Good luck with your upcoming test!

Dr. Bob

Simply a Redneck!!
wohhoo from illustrated guy

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