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A Lesson Learned in Canada

Apr 10, 2005

Dear Dr. Frascino,

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for what you are doing for thousands of people who are scared and anxious. Going through the posts made me realize that I was not alone, and whatever happened, life would go on. You are a blessing and I wish you and everyone on this site well.

I want to share my story so that hopefully others can learn something and make a decision.

About 10 months ago, I started engaging in protected vaginal sex with a man I met in a bar. Protected quickly gave way to unprotected which gave way to my anxiety. I asked him on 2 seperate occasions if he had been tested for STDs and he assured me that he had been and was ok. However, upon further drilling he confessed to having chlamydia a year before we hooked up. I was pissed but not enough to break up with him. For a while we went back to condoms, but slipped a few times. He went away on vacation and when he came back, I told him that I went off the pill (a lie) and said that we had to be consistant with condoms. Shortly after that we broke up and the full time worrying began. Nearly 3 months later, I got tested and was negative. Though I was within the window period, it was enough for me and I promptly put it out of my mind.

Fast forward to the end of last year and I was dating someone who I thought was pretty special. He was a good man and said he wanted to have unprotected sex with me after we both got tested. Unfortunately, we slipped a couple of times. The first time, he was in me for a few minutes (no ejaculation). The second time, he was in me for longer and came on my chest. That was 3 months ago. Since then, we broke up and I spent the last 2 weeks of my life crying, praying, getting sick and hoping that I did not contract HIV. I knew the risk was small and I knew I should believe him when he said that he was STD free, but I kept thinking that I could have it. I became addicted to internet web pages, checking my lymph nodes, worrying and daydreaming how my life would change if I became positive. I promised God, Jesus and my dead father that if I was negative I would never have unprotected sex without insisting on testing first.

Well, yesterday, April 7, 2005, my prayers were answered. I picked up my negative test results and I am slowly coming to terms that I am okay.

I just wanted to tell everyone who is scared to get tested, just do it. Life is too short to spend your days and nights worrying. If you are positive, it is better to know so that you don't infect anywone else and can get started on treatments earlier. If you are negative, you can use the stress as a lesson for the future. Please do it. Whatever the outcome, God will take care of you. But first, you will have take care of yourself.

Thanks again. No offence to anyone, but this will be the last time that I frequent this site to find peace of mind for my mistakes. I intend on never making that kind of mistake.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Lesson Learned in Canada,

Thanks for taking the time to share your lessons learned.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

1 in a million
From "Dating Tips" guy -- I dropped the soap -- Do I need PEP!?

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