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"Magnetic Couples"

Mar 26, 2005

Dear Dr. Bob, Thank you for including the question by the Windy City 20 something about having sex again. My boyfriend, who is positive, and I, a "neggie", have been together for almost five years. I knew from the start that my partner is HIV because he told me. Our sex is sometimes "mind blowing" too. In fact, we recently have tried inviting a third now and then. We know what it feels like to be rejected because some people say they won't join us for the fun because of my partner's HIV. Rejection is hard and I like what you said about spitting it and not swallowing it. Ok now for the question. We live in Central PA and the workplace is quite conservative. My partner gets frustrated at work almost everyday. One of our friends, who is HIV positive, suggested to my partner to try disability because the stress must be breaking his precious immune system. My question to you is, when or how can you know how much stress in the workplace will start ruining all the building up of t-cells that my partner has achieved to become undetectable? Thanks, Not Quite Amish

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Not Quite Amish,

Each case is quite different. The best person to discuss this with is a competent and compassionate HIV specialist. Whether such specialists are easy to find in "not quite Amish" country, I do not know. Certainly if your partner's health (mental, physical or immunological) is being compromised by his work environment, his HIV specialist should be able to document this and make recommendations work restrictions, disability or whatever is necessary to help resolve the problem.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

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