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very gallant homeless man

Mar 12, 2005

Dr. Bob,

OK, I'll make this quick, as I know you're very busy and you have a great heart.

I was coming out of a bar last night, and a homeless man asked me for some money. I gave him a dollar, and to my utmost surprise, he kissed my hand and got down on one knee (and they say chivalry is dead)!

I have very dry skin, and I am concerned that he had unhealthy gums or something and there was blood in his saliva (the kiss was a little moist, ew). I washed my hands almost immediately after this.

Do you think I should be worried about HIV? In case you can't tell I'm prone to high anxiety, and I'm being treated for OCD. Please, any advice would be warmly appreciated. Thank you for all that you do.


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Worried,

As demonstrated by the "very gallant homeless man," chivalry is indeed not dead. As demonstrated by your willingness to be generous to those less fortunate, compassion is also not dead. Finally, as demonstrated by your excessive concern that a wet kiss on the hand might transmit HIV from the gallant and chivalrous to the generous and compassionate, it certainly seems that irrational HIV worries are also alive and thriving. I see absolutely no cause for anxiety or even the least bit of concern form this moist kiss on very dry skin. Consequently, let's plan to keep and promote the gallant chivalry and the compassionate generosity, but abolish the irrational HIV anxiety. OK?

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Please Tell Me I Have Nothing To Worry About
Testing in Wheeling, West Virginia

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