|I'll donate my entire bank account if Im negative
Feb 12, 2005
Well here goes......Ive probably visited this site about 100 times over the past couple years....every time I would sit and read through peoples horror stories and happy news praying that I could have a negative result. I have been apart of the possibly worried well community for the past 2 1/2 years...always putting off getting tested and never wanting to know. But what i didnt realize was the slow deterioration of my everyday life that has made me into a wreck.....Im 21 and am about to graduate from college but Im not really that excited.....the only thing on my mind is the question of what will happen if i go in and find out that I am positive. Well I took the test a couple weeks ago and am now prepared to go in tomorrow and find out what the future holds for me. But the really funny thing is that after thinking about HIV constantly for the past 1000 days of my life I am ashamed that it took me so long to get tested. Ive done alot of bad things in my life and have not really appreciated anything of the good things that have happend to me so I think that I might deserve to have this disease......the truth is that I have every symptom: oral herpes,fatigue, weight loss, depression, suicidal thoughts,thrush. However if for some reason the fates have chosen me to continue and live my life as a normal human being I will pledge one thing to you Dr. Bob....my entire bank account will be donated so that this disease will stop plaguing peoples lives............Conversely if things do not go my way tomorrow and karma truly is a bitch then I will have to own up to my responsibilities and either 1) leave my family friends and go to some other country where I can be alone in peace 2)Kill myself by making it look accidental
These options are the only ones that I will have becuase I will not let this virus ruin my life or my families life........So I guess that is it. Today is February the 9th and I will know my status tomorrow............expect a big WOO-HOO followed by a big check, or a sad letter followed by a disappearance.
| Response from Dr. Frascino
Your results should be available any moment now, so I'll just make a few general comments:
1. No one deserves to have this disease. Period.
2. Symptoms, no matter what they are, do not equal HIV disease.
3. Please don't talk of ending your life voluntarily, particularly when so many struggle for each day, hour and even moment of existence.
4. If I had followed either of your two choices when I found out I was HIV positive, I wouldn't have been here for you to have visited this site hundreds of times.
5. Find the gift that only you can give to the world; that's your whole reason to be on the planet. The miracle of your existence calls for celebration everyday.
I'm sending you my very best karma. Don't disappear, OK?
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