The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

Worried Husband in the Bay Area!! Please Confirm what I have been told!!

Feb 7, 2005

Dr. Bob,

I hope you are in good spirits! You are so great for having forums like this. It has helped many like me with my irrational fears. However you have not responded to me yet show me some love!!!!

I have made the effort to to try an email you many times and you have not responded to me yet. In a nutshell,last October 2004, I am married to to my high school sweetheart, she is the only one I have ever had sex with until I strayed while she was pregnant with our child. I met a girl online and I responded to her add and next thing you know, one week later we were hooking up. After 2 bottles of merlot, I performed cunniligus on her for about 5 to 10 minutes, using my toungue and 2 fingers, she supposedly climaxed but I didnt feel any juices squirt at me or anythnig like that. There was no menstral blood, no sores that I noticed, no smells. I then had protected intercourse with her, twice, using Trojan Ultraribbed condoms. Each time I climaxed, I pulled out and went to the bathroom, didnt notice any tears or holes the the condom, and I pissed, took a towel and put warm water on it and wiped my genitals, and then put toothpaste on my finger and rinsed my mouth out.

I really freaked out first because this girl was a mexican girl who went to contination school and jail for maybe being a gang banger, who had alot of tattoos, on her neck, back, hand, ankle, around her belly button, she use to be in a gang it seems but she cleaned up her act and works for the county of Santa Clara now, I guess I stereotyped her being dirty because of her tattoos, because I am not attracted to woman who have alot of tattoos! Keep in mind, this is the first and only time I had fooled around with someone other than my wife ever in my life, I truly am loyal except for last year. Never again.

Basically, I have talked to every STD counselor in the Bay Area,Planned Parenthood(told me to get HIV out of my mind, San Francisco City Clinic(told me with my story they would not even test me for HIV(not warranted for one) but for Herpes, Santa Cruz Aids Foundation (same story dont worry about it) only the CDC was the ones sounding like I should be worried, but I heard from all the clinics that they are just talking in General and are not at the tip of the sword like the clinics I have called. All of them saying I should not even be worried about anything.

Finally, I visited my General Practioner, and told him about my situation and he told me not to worry about HIV, such a minimal risk that a test was not warranted. He did test me for Syphillis, Ghonarea, Chlamydia, All Hep A B C. All came back negative, but I didnt tak the HIV test.

I am not stressing as bad as before, I feel better, but I wanted to get your reassurance that all these people, even my GP are right. Not to worry especially that my initial STD tests, excluding HIV, came out negative.

Its funny, my GO told me to worry more about my cholestoral level and clogging up my coronary arteries instead of my irrational fears of HIV. So I took that and ran with it. I just needed to here it from you Dr. Bob, that I am good. That given my situation you would be worried or as worried as I was, to move on with life. My wife just got cleared to be intimated again by the Dr so we will start soon, but Just needed a pat on the back from you Dr. Bob, I am big fan. Please respond to this email, PLEASE, PLEASE. Donation on the way to your office in Los Altos, shoot, i actually played JC ball there at Foothill Owls, I will just walk in the check myself and shake the hand of the man everyone looks to for guidance, in my instance for re-assurance. Im ready to move on, just give me the go!!! God bless you and Dr. Steve.



Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Island Boy,

You are "not attracted to women who have a lot of tattoos," so you decided to bang a former gang-banger with tattoos on her neck, back, hand, ankle and around her belly button? OK, if you say so.

So at this point "every STD counselor in the Bay Area, Planned Parenthood, the San Francisco City Clinic and the Santa Cruz AIDS Foundation" all told you exactly the same thing. Why is it that you "needed to hear it from Dr. Bob?" Did you really think my advice would be any different? No, of course not. Do I agree with the impressive number of identical opinions you've already got? Yes, of course I do.

As for the CDC, I have no idea what they told you, but your HIV risk is extremely low. If you remain concerned, the option for HIV testing at any of the sites you mentioned remains open to you. If this would clam your anxious soul quickly, then by all means get tested. The results can be available in as little as 20 minutes with the new rapid tests. All the odds are astronomically in your favor that you are HIV negative.

Good luck! And remember to do something about that elevated cholesterol, OK?

Dr. Bob

lap dancing
Worried sick, please help!!!!

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint