Disgruntled Pete here one last time with a much belated apology.
Jan 5, 2005
It's me, Disgruntled Pete. I just found out I'm negative after more than 2 years of Hell.
I am a fool. I should have listened to the advice you gave me months ago, but I was too scared and didn't believe you. You told me I was not going to be infected from a few seconds of unprotected oral sex but I was a mess and wasn't thinking clearly.
Well, I would like to share my story to help others out there like me.
I'm a young kid. I'm only 19 and it started 2 years ago when I was 17. I met this girl and I went out with her once and then went back to her place. Up to this point in my life my sexual experiences were extremely limited and I had never really done anything. The girl I was with sort of a "slut" though I didn't know it at this time, and she had probably done everything. She started kissing me for a few minutes and the proceeded to stick her hand down my pants, and before I knew it she was giving me a blowjob. It was only for about 20 seconds but I made her stop because I didn't feel right about it.
Anyway, I never saw her again after that. About 6 months go by and I barely thought about that incident and all of the sudden the thought of HIV popped into my head. After that my life and everything started to go down hill. I became more aware of everything. I noticed every little scratch or bruise I got on my body and thought it was HIV. every time I got sick or didn't fell good I thought I was going to die. It went on like this for a year and half because I was too scared to get tested. I became very reclusive durring this time. it got so bad that I couldn't even go to the store because I would get these panic attacks. Finally near the end, I started having these horrible pains in my stomach and chest that drove me to see a docter. It turned out that those pains were caused by indegestion and stress. I gave in and had extensive bloodwork done for almost everything. I'm fine and you were right I don't have HIV.
I will not say it was a waste of my life because it wasn't. I think this happened to me for a reason and I am a better person because of it. I've learned to treasure life because we never know and tommorrow we could be gone. There are things in this world we can't control and we have to live are lives the best we can.
I have done a lot of thinking in the past 2 years. I have done a lot of reading and a lot of writng. I think I have really found who I am.
Before any of this happened I never gave a second though to HIV. This was partly my fault but I was never really taught much in school either. I know HIV is a horrible disease but history has been full of diseases and sickness that has killed millions of people. The Black death wiped out half of Europe. I think we need to be strong and fight this thing because a better day will come.
I am sorry. I didn't send a donation becuase I thought you were wrong and I had HIV. I don't have much money but I am making it my New Year resolution to send in a monthly donation until I am able to pay the $1,000 I promised you.
On a final note, I am sorry Bush is still in office. I don't know what the f**ck is the matter with this country. It looks like I may be spending the next 4 years in Canada.
Stay strong, stay well, and keep doing what your doing, Disgruntled Pete
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hi Disgruntled Pete,
Thank you for taking the time to write in and share your story. I promise not to even say "I told you so!"
Pete, I totally agree you've grown up and learned much over the past two years. Your desire to help those less fortunate than you who are presently struggling with the challenges of living with HIV/AIDS reveals just how far you've come on your voyage of self discovery. It is rare and refreshing to see a 19-year-old demonstrate compassion and generosity rather than being egocentrically focused and self-absorbed.
As for Bush, just think of it as another challenge. Science, fairness and common sense will eventually win out over myth, greed and blind misguided faith.
Thanks for your kind words and your donation. Both are warmly appreciated.
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