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Dr. Bob ain't no Slob I'd put Frascino in My Camino

Dec 13, 2004

Greetings Dr. Bob,

I'll be brief, in my briefs as I am. I have written to you three other times (and this statement expects no quantification as you have answered at least 10000 times that) but I hope this one gets through to you.

I had an exposure, broken condom with a pro during, exactly 11 weeks ago and have had an Elisa at 2 days (baseline), 1 month (negative), 2 months (negative), and an oraquick at 11 weeks also negative. I also had 2 DNA PCR tests at 7 and 8 weeks (negative) and am wondering if I can put this in some place in the past. The dark tunnel I have been looking down is getting too thick and I really want to let this go but I know I am one week outside the suggested window. Should I get tested in a week? Will it make a difference?

I also had a MASSIVE herpes outbreak at 5 weeks (doctor says it is due to stress) and this was followed by swollen lymph nodes in my groin and armpits. These symptoms went away after 4 weeks. Should I be concerned? Please, any response would be welcomed. Your soft voise is the only thing that allows me to sleep at night. With love and patience, Hurting in the Midwest

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Hurting in Midwest,

With three negative ELISAs out to two months, a negative OraQuick at 11 weeks and two negative DNA PCRs out to eight weeks, why are you still so stressed out? So far, you've had nothing but great (and extremely reassuring) news, as far as your tests are concerned.

Sure, I'd like to tell you that you are definitively, conclusively and certifiably HIV negative, but as you have undoubtedly read from me and countless others, "testing prior to three months is not considered to be definitive." I do not recommend DNA PCR testing for routine screening, so I won't comment further on that at this time. Regarding your antibody tests (ELISAs and OraQuick), 11 weeks is just one French fry short of a Happy Meal. So if you want a definitive and conclusive result, you must wait the full three months. Sorry. If the rules were bent for you, why should anyone else have to wait three months? So, do I think you are HIV negative? Yes, I sincerely do. Can we definitively and conclusively say you are HIV negative? No, not until you get a negative antibody test at three months or more.

Thanks for writing "briefly." I'm responding in my briefs as well!

Good luck (although I'm quite sure you won't need it).

Dr. Bob

Safe sex help.. one magnetic couple to another!
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