Please don't shoot me!!
Dec 1, 2004
Please, please, you may want to when you see the topic, but I'm just dying here already... And I know how busy you are, but at least one of these questions has a bit of a different twist, and I would be EVER SO GRATEFUL if you'd take a minute to answer!!
I had one episode of "brief unprotected oral sex without ejaculation" as the receiving partner. (Actually, the oral sex was mutual but of course my concern is the part where I gave oral to the guy, and that was only for like 15 seconds or so, literally.)
Now I know, from reading your archives, that this carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. My question is, does lack of ejaculation make the risk only theoretical?
A couple of posts in the past have said things like, there have been no cases documented from precum alone. (And yes, I know these things are hard to 'document' rather than simply 'report' too.) So is that still the case? And if so, it's highly unlikely I'd be the first one, huh?
Also, one other question in regard to the other side of the coin, and this is the one I didn't really find any answers to at all... when I was receiving oral sex from him, he'd also been using his fingers a bit roughly, inserting them and hitting against my cervix which caused me to bleed a little. If my cervix were open a bit, or if the roughness happened to cause a few small tears, and his mouth was then on me, would my risk for contracting HIV be increased from this because of the open points? Or would it not matter since I was still only receiving his saliva on that part of the encounter?
For the record, I had one negative test already (one month) and am awaiting results from a second. (I also had testing for every other STD under the sun at about five weeks after the encounter, and all were negative.) I'm hoping I'm very soon able to send you a woo-hoo, but it would help me so much in the meantime if you could reassure me on these items.
You see, I have a very young child, and I simply cannot fathom what I would do if I'd contracted a deadly disease from one moment of stupidity. Please tell me that I'll be around and healthy for years to take care of him. (And I know, from seeing you in action, that it wouldn't in fact be the end of the world, but it sure feels that way right now.)
Thank you so much for the work you do. I have a lot of anxiety in general, and this encounter has been worrying me greatly, and your forum has saved me from panic attacks many days. I wish you health, happiness, and blessings!!
P.S. - I know this will trigger more responses on why people keep asking you stupid questions when they don't have any real risk, and I'm sure that's probably the case here... but I hope you'll answer me anyway. Thanks again.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hi Worry Girl,
Unless you needlessly worry yourself to death, I'd say you should definitely be around and healthy for years to take care of your youngster.
Oral sex of any type carries a very low risk of HIV infection. Making distinctions between low; very low; ultra, ultra low; theoretical; etc. is just semantics. It is true that if there was no ejaculation, the risk is "lower" than if you get a mouthful of spunk. However, my advice always remains the same: If you've placed yourself at risk (high, medium, low, ultra low or theoretical, whatever) and you are worried, get tested.
Next, rough fingering would most likely not significantly increase your HIV risk for receiving oral sex. However, as I've said, if you're worried, get tested.
I can advise whether or not there was a significant HIV risk. However, only a negative HIV test three months or more after a potential risk exposure can give you a definitive WOO-HOO.
Hope that helps.
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