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Oral sex from sex worker while drunk

Nov 24, 2004

Dear Dr Bob

Congratulations on the forum. The facilitity for people to express their anxieties (and often they are probably just that) to an expert is clearly invaluable. I intend to send a donation.

You will no doubt refer me to your archives (and I have tried to read through all of them before sending this (well, most of them..!) but could you please let me have you thoughts on the following:

On Friday night, after too many drinks after work, I visited a 'massage parlour'. I am very happily married, have never done this before and still have no idea why I did this (I need to do some further thinking on that front, as I'm clearly not as happy as I thought).

Anyway, after a massage, the sex worker stroked my penis and then put a condom on once it was erect. She then masturbated me and performed oral sex on me for a minute or so. As far as I remember, the condom was on the whole time (at least covering the 'head' of my penis, if not all the way down to the base). Due to the effect the drink was having on me (you can guess what effect that was), she gave up on the oral sex, took off the condom, applied some oil and then masturbated me. It was something of a lost cause by then and she (understandably) quit after a couple of minutes. I did not ejaculate.

I'm ashamed of what I've done and will need to think about whether to confess to my wife. I did, however, think that the encounter was 'safe' from a sex/HIV point of views, given the description of what happened above. However, by Monday morning (i.e. just over 2 days after) I'd started to develop a headache, pain/blocking in my ears and have experienced night sweats, difficulty sleeping and all round tiredness.

My questions are as follows:

1. from my description, does any part of what happened sound risky from a transmission of HIV perspective?

2. I've experienced symptoms of something within 2-2 and a half days of the activity. How early can the symptoms of ARS? What I'm suffering may be caused by anxiety/guilt but I've been heavily stressed at work before and never had physical manifestations like this.

Thanks for your time and keep up the great work!

Kind regards Welsh guy

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Welsh Guy,

1. Nope

2. ARS symptoms generally occur several weeks after exposure, not several days. Yes, anxiety and guilt can be contributing to your symptoms.

Finally, you are correct; I will indeed refer you to the archives. You should find the information and testimonials there both informative and reassuring.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Dr. BOB - making progress
An Oral Casualty, Please answer this third attempt?

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