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Is refusing a blow job a likely sign of HIV+?
Nov 7, 2004

Doctor Doctor,

I recently had an intimate encounter with a man who I had just met. In bed, he stopped me short of performing oral sex on him, even though he performed it on me. I didn't question it at the time, and we went on to have protected anal sex.

The next day we met up again and this time in bed, while he did resist somewhat, I performed oral sex on him. He did not ejaculate in my mouth.

Was his behavior (refusing a blowjob) typical and/or an indication of someone with HIV, or some other STD? If so, is there a rule of thumb on how much risk I put myself in?

Thanks in advance for any reply,

d.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello d.,

Well, either your hottie didn't like getting head (which seems a bit unlikely) or he was trying to tell you something. Could it be HIV or an STD or that he had asparagus for dinner? I would have no way of knowing.

We ourselves are all ultimately responsible for staying safe and healthy, and we all set our own level of risk that we are willing to accept, based on what we are comfortable with and on our medical knowledge. It would certainly seem you were being rather persistent about going downtown, despite obvious clues that there might be something going on with stud muffin's Sergeant Pepper. So perhaps your hunch is correct. We'll never know, unless you still keep in touch with him and can ask him. (He seems like the kind of responsible guy who just might tell you the truth.) However, either way, the risk of HIV transmission via oral sex is low. Other STDs are much more readily transmitted via this route. If you are concerned about STDs, have your doctor check you out. If you are concerned about HIV, get tested three months or more after the potential exposure.

As for the "rule of thumb," well . . . . How about "refusing a blowjob would be considered unusual (if not unnatural) male behavior?"

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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