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Am I truly out of the woods?

Nov 7, 2004

To make a long story short, I am a married man who had an out of of my marriage sexual "event". I had some limited sex with a man who was hiv+. We kissed and he blew me. I fondled and licked his penis and inserted my finger into his arse. He masturabated to erection and orgasm. I initially felt bad that it wasn't very rewarding for him. I did not come into contact with his ejaculate. It was a bad idea on so many other basic levels but at first anyway I thought it was probably "safe" as far as health. In any case the bad seed has grown at least in my head and I have had a had some growing concerns. I have read some similar scenarios here of anxiety related symptoms. Every time I feel hot or cold I check for a fever. Am i cold sweating out of fear or having night sweats? I have not gotten alot of sleep. Every chill sends me down the "Oh my god I have ruined my entire life and my families for a killer blowjob" No pun intended. At 9 weeks I had an hiv test (rapid) negative. At 90 days I repeated this with another rapid test at a clinic. It was also negative. I have read online that 3 months according to a New York concensus report sources is sufficient to have a definitive test result. Can I truly resume what was in so many ways a great life? I have learned that I greatly underestimated my conscience and my head and bodies ability to drive itself crazy. I am seeking some reassurance and if it helps anyone reading this, Don't play with fire without being truly informed. It has helped a great deal to read some of the entries here. I thank you for your advice.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Yep, repeatedly negative HIV tests out to 90 days are conclusive and definitive. You are out of the woods, and that "killer blowjob" was indeed just that "a killer blowjob."

At this point, HIV is not your problem. However, guilt and perhaps some issues surrounding your sexuality could be. If you are finding it difficult to "truly resume what was in so many ways a great life," then I would suggest you consider seeking some counseling. "Playing with fire" doesn't necessarily mean getting burned.

Stay well!

Dr. Bob

let me get something straight
Is refusing a blow job a likely sign of HIV+?

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