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Worried I may have ruined my life

Oct 16, 2004

Thank you for a response as I cannot continue with daily activities due to my worries. I plan to be tested at the three month time.

I married a girl at the end of august. At the beginning of August, I went on a bachelors party and had way too much to drink, a girl from a normal bar came back to our room and she performed oral sex on me and I believe we kissed for awhile, could have been what is called deep kissing, but I'm not sure/do not remember.

I know the risk seems low, but this is what worries me. I had bit the inside of my lip two days before the incident, then two days after the incident I had a big canker sore/clear bubble thing on the inside of my lip which went away in a day. First, I'm worried that I could have received the virus through this infection in my mouth and I'm not sure why soon afterwards this big bubble appeared and then disappeared.

Secondly, I never gave this much thought until about a month and a half later my wife and I got home from our honeymoon and she came down with a cold, sore throat, she said she had a fever and muscle aches. She was better in four days. Then a week later I received a mild sore throat and cold but mine went away very quickly too, in a few days. I've been trying to figure this out and haven't been able to, and then the last few nights both of us have woken up with nightsweats, to the point where our shirts have been wet. I know that can be a symptom as well, so I am now even more worried. Or I suppose it could have been hot in the bedroom, but it seems unusual, especially given the timing and the two nights in a row.

I am so worried that I cannot function. I forget things, I've been making mistakes at work, and cannot think properly.

I know I made a mistake, and my regret overwhelms me, but I cannot go into the past and correct how much I drank that night and re-make the proper decisions.

Please help out with any answers. I've been reading the posts and answers and your work is tremendous.

I plan to donate to either your cause or to AIDS research, but if I donate to your society, will some of it go toward research?

Response from Dr. Frascino


Relax! I see no reason for such anxiety and concern over a bachelor's party drunken kiss with "a girl from a normal bar" (as opposed to an "abnormal bar?"), even if the kiss involved a bit of tonsil hockey, and even if you had bit your lip two days prior and then got a canker sore two days after! Sure, take an HIV test at three months if it will calm your fears, but medically speaking, I wouldn't say it was either necessary or warranted.

Thank you for your donation. If you would like us to use some or all of the money for research, that can certainly be arranged. Just drop us a note or e-mail at the time of your donation, indicating your wishes.

Stay well! Stop worrying! Just sing the words from the famous song from the movie Casablanca: "A kiss is just a kiss . . . . as time goes by . . . ."

Dr. Bob

Husband HIV positive/me HIVnegative
French guy concerned about Hiv 1, Hiv 2, sub-type O...???

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