Oct 5, 2004
Dear Dr. Bob: This is my second time asking, but I need closure on this. I've read through all of the archives and feel that I've gotten an answer; however, paranoia has set in big time. Before I talk to a professional counselor to deal with my HIV fears, I need to talk with a credible doctor (YOU!). It scares me to talk to my own doctor, because of what I've read on the archives, the MD's can mess your head up even more with their misinformation. Well, here goes (with my hair totally down): I was on a business trip and have always had the urge to try a "happy ending" after a totally nude massage. Since I'm married I felt that if I had a male do the massage and "happy ending" I wouldn't feel as guilty. WRONG! At any rate, I researched and found someone that I thought would be okay. He was around 50, clean cut and polite. The massage itself was great. After the massage, I asked if he would consider doing a happy ending with a prostate massage. He looked kind of shocked, but said he would try and help me with that. I took all of the safeguards. I brought out the latex glove, k-y lube and hospital disposable bed pad. He put on the gloves, I put the pad on the bed and got on all fours, because I didn't want cum shooting all over my chest. I tried to keep my eye on him at all times. I felt him rub the lube on my anus, then he stopped. I asked what he was doing and the next thing I knew he was reaching under me with a hand full of lube rubbing my genitalia, then the anal stimulation started. It didn't feel like he went in very deep; just a tickling around the opening with maybe about a 1/2" penetration. Wow, I didn't know the anus had so many nerves. The whole experience was quick. With that kind of stimulation, it didn't take me long to explode. I didn't notice any erection on his part or even any precum and/or leakage. He looked totally dry and flacid. He went over to wash his hands after removing the gloves. When I wiped the lube off my anus, I didn't notice any blood, feces, etc. It looked clear. Of course after he left, the guilt and paranoia started. For the first 6 weeks, I worried that maybe he may have had precum or spunk on his finger and could have infected me. From the archive reading, I realized that wasn't an issue. So then I began to wonder if maybe he tried to enter me from behind and I just didn't realize it. However, I would think that there would be a noticeable difference between a finger going in and a dick. I would have realized the difference (even with lube), right? I mean he was pretty well endowed. Do you think I'm at any risk for HIV. The archives seem to point to no, but I need an answer. Where do I send a donation? You're a wonderful person. May life bring you the best of everything. Your friend, Paranoid Man
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Paranoid Man,
You mention that you've "read through all the archives and feel that you've gotten an answer." Hopefully that answer is that your risk of HIV transmission from the episode you described is exactly zero, zilch, zip, nadda!!! That is the correct answer.
How could your "totally dry, flaccid, well-endowed" masseur have entered you from behind without you realizing it? Yes indeed there would be a "noticeable difference between a finger going in and a dick."
It seems you were extremely well prepared for this experience: "a hospital disposable bed pad" is not one of the more common things guys pack for a business trip. I believe the only reason your "happy ending" wasn't happy is your guilt and anxiety over the entire episode. This would include your decision to hire a male massage therapist for a totally nude massage, requesting a prostate message/happy ending, irrational HIV fears, being married, etc., etc., etc. Although I see absolutely no need for HIV testing, I see a real need for you to seek professional counseling to discuss multiple issues. HIV is certainly not your problem.
Thank you for your willingness to make a donation to my Foundation. Donation information can be found at the foundation's web-site www.concertedeffort.org. The foundation address is 779 Altos Oaks Dr. Suite #200, Los Altos CA. 94024.
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