Dr. Bob,

I am a 29 y.o. gay man married to a wonderful man. We have a 3-year old child and are in the process of adopting a second child.

Last week, in a moment of unparalleled selfishness and stupidity, I engaged in unprotected insertive and receptive oral sex with an almost stranger. I did not have any cuts/sores in my mouth and he did not ejaculate in my mouth. I do not remember tasting any precum either, although I can't be sure.

I contacted my doctor the next morning about starting PEP, but he said it wasn't necessary. I am worried sick that I am or will become HIV positive and can see no way continuing on as a part of my family unit. I can't sleep or eat and don't know what to do.

Please tell me I am overreacting and that I will not live to regret not challenging my doctor more on his decision not to start PEP.

Help!!

Hello,

You want me to "please tell you that you are overreacting?" OK, listen up. You are overreacting! There. Feel better?

Oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. I, too, would advise against PEP in this type of situation. The risks associated with taking PEP would outweigh the potential benefits. I would suggest you discuss the entire situation with your husband. Testing in three months will give a definitive result. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this lapse in judgment. We'll all send you our best karma for a negative HIV test result. Read through the extensive archives of this forum. I believe you'll find the information and testimonials there very comforting. Now go hug that handsome stud of yours and give your kid a kiss from me. OK?

Good luck.

Dr. Bob