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Sep 10, 2004

Hello Dr. Bob,

I am so depressed and upset with myself with this particular sexual action that was performed on me this past weekend. I am HIV+ with an undetectable VLOAD. I have a boyfriend who performed unprotected oral sex on me for the first time. I've never ejaculated before, but, when I came this time, he caught me by surprise and lick some cum off the tip of my penis. I immediately yelled at him, "Don't do that", SPIT it Out!". He did and now I"m having GUILT and ANXIETY about contracting him. I know what the risk are, so, I guess my question is: "Has he been exposed if he didn't swollow, if he spit it out immediately?" I'm so scared Dr. Bob. I love this guy so much. Thank you for your time sir. Look forward to hear from you.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. That your partner immediately spit out the lapped up spunk coupled with your undetectable viral load would further decrease the likelihood of viral transmission. However, your partner's risk, albeit very low, is not nonexistent. I should also point out that all sexually active people should be responsible for their own behavior. All of us should assume any of our sexual partners could be HIV positive and take the appropriate measures for protection. Yes, it takes two to tango (or bango, if you will), but the primary responsibility for staying safe always rests with each of us as individuals.

I hope that helps.

Dr. Bob

I am so glad that you exist
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