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Aug 12, 2004

Hi Dr Bob, Firstly, I'd like to say what a fantastic forum you run here..I have been reading it avidly for the last 6 weeks since my exposure. My apologies in advance, as this is long, but I would like to tell you all the facts- I would be EXTREMELY grateful for your valued expert advice/opinion.

I'm a 35 guy from England, who has never done anythng like this before.Around 6 weeks ago I was in Malaysia, and took a massage in my hotel room. Then, foolishly agreed for the masseuse give me the 'extra' of 'licking the outside of my body, followed by a blow job'. I said that the blow job must have a condom and she agreed. Before this we showered, but she took particular care to clean the area around my anus. She also insisted I clean my penis after finally urinating. After showering, I lay on the bed, and she went back to the bathroom for a couple of minutes. After the incident which followed, I saw an opened condom packet by the sink of the bathroom, so presume she was preparing herself.

She returned from the bathroom, and told me to lay on my back as she licked the outside of my body- then she told me to flip over- I noticed that her tongue appeared somewhat shiny , and later wondered that perhaps she had a condom on her tongue??

After licking the outside of my body, she then did something which I did not expect, and now know as 'rimming'- I should have stopped her, but she continued for 3 or 4 minutes rimming me, and was quite forceful at times...she then moved to give me a blow job- I asked her where the condom was, and she opened her mouth (there did not appear to be any blood present, but then how can I be sure?) and the condome was on her tongue! Had I had not drank a few glasses of wine I would of course have questioned this, but somehow I accepted this, and she managed to place the condom (maybe she had this condom on her tongue before to do the licking and rimming?--not sure though) over my penis before giving me the blowjob.

Afterwards we showered. But my immediate thoughts were why she rimmed me (we had not talked of) ? Maybe she had wanted to intentionally infect me with hiv? The specialists I have spoken to seem to think it may have been to get a bigger tip/ else part of her routine--but I'm not sure!

Next morning I noticed a little blood from my anus- as I said , she was pretty rough, and so I figured that perhaps she had created a tear (I did not feel her bite me). Naturally, I got worried after this, as fear of HIV overcame me.

The following week, I flew to India and saw a doctor there--he said the risk was very small (but I think I may not have mentioned the slight blood from the tear)-tested for syphillis, HIV and negative, but this was only 6 days after the exposure- by this stage a small boil was appearing in my bottom--he felt this was because she may have been quite rough there and did not seem overly concerned-He prescribed some anti-fungal ointment (Fucidin cream I think) for this boil. Anyhow, soon after I started getting symtoms of sleepless nights etc (7-10 days after event).

Then, just under 2 weeks later I fly to Tokyo, and after this 10 hour plane trip, i feel that a boil in my bottom was getting bigger- as I showered that evening in Tokyo , the 'boil' burst and some blood came out- this freaked me out! It was then that I found your website!

A couple of days later (some 17 days after the exposure) I was flying to Australia from Tokyo, and after checking in at Tokyo I felt like I was going to die (ARS?)- I felt like my ears were popping, and then the intense need to urinate...throughout the flight to Australia I was going to the toilet every 20 mins or so, or at least thats what it felt like! Could this be ARS?

Once in Australia, I started again reading internet more and thinking that I have acute HIV--that first night in Australia I had a big meal with alcohol, and my stools almost turned to pellets and I was urinating a lot that night--I could hardly sleep and was sweating a lot, convincing myself that this was Acute HIV- I was sure I was not going to survive that night. And it co-incided with the timescale of ACUTE HIV symptoms.

Anyhow, went to see a specialist clinic in Melbourne, who examined the bottom/ anus (some 19 days after the event) who said that there was may have been some quite heavy erasion, but that was ok, and that he was not overly concerned-- he felt convinced that I should be fine re:HIV, but of course I felt sure otherwise, and he said that 'we agreed to disagree!'-- he tested for clymdia, syphillis and ghonorrhea- they all, quite surprisingly for me, came back negative.

I next moved to New Zealand, but my mind was now sure that I had HIV- and symptoms seemed to follow e.g. sleepless nights, lots of urination during the night..I was planning more travel, but decided to return to the UK to rest and see more doctors.

Saw a specialist a week ago who is testing for the things tested in Australia, HIV (although I know its not conclusive so soon) and hepatitis- he expects them to come back negative- just before seeing him, the subaceouus glands on my head grew huge, and a large spot appeared on my face- all within like 3/4 days! I attributed this to HIV, but the specialist thought it was unrelated and presecribed some antibitics (Fluxocillin and Amoxcillin)...these have now subsided (some 6 days on), but I am convinced that I have HIV. (PS I also tested for a Urninary Tract Infection a couple of weeks ago, but this too came back negative).

I have read the archives thoroughly, and understand that there have been no documented cases of HIV from being rimmed--but I am convinced that I will be the first e.g. I feel she may have bloodied her mouth perhaps, and done hard rimming intentionally, causing slight abrasion in my anus to spread the virus-plus, she has created a tear in my bottom/anus. After all, I was not expecting to be rimmed, and I do not know what she did in the bathroom before starting the licking.

Further, I am concerned that using the condom from her mouth (and it may perhaps have even been on her tongue before) may contain blood etc that increases the risk during the blow job? Could this have caused other bacteria, and hence be causing the symptoms I have had? Or is it more likely HIV do you think?

I appreciate that this is expremely long, and you are getting many emails, but I would really appreciate your expert opinion- the specialists I have mentioned this to are re-assuring me, but I am convinced that I may be the first documented case of HIV from being rimmed.

I would be very grateful for your opinion, as I am going insane with worry!

Regards, Anxious from England

PS I will certainly be sending a donation for your great work!-I presume this will be best achieved through your website?

Response from Dr. Frascino


If you've been reading my forum and archives avidly for six weeks, you should realize that with over 40 million people currently infected with HIV and with over two decades of intense scientific study of how the virus is and is not transmitted, there have indeed been no recorded cases of getting HIV from rimming or getting rimmed. Absolutely nothing in your story or description of "symptoms" would even remotely suggest you would be the "first!"

The specialists you've talked to suggested your mouthy Malaysian was just trying to get a bigger tip??? Hmmmm, unusual advice from a "specialist." Exactly what type of specialist were you questioning anyway?

Next, she tongued you so hard you were bleeding??? Wow, she must have a tongue like a bull-frog. Can she open a ketchup bottle without using her hands?

Next, your butt boil burst (Yuk!), and then you found our website??? Hmmmm, I kind of hate to think these two things are related.

Look UK-Guy, you've visited specialists from India to Australia to the UK. They all have said no risk, plus all of your tests have been negative.

The majority of your symptoms are most likely stress related. Sure, get an HIV test at three months if you're concerned, but the only medical indication would be to calm your anxious mind.

You're "convinced you will be the first documented case of HIV from being rimmed." I, on the other hand, am even more convinced you will NOT be. Since I'm the HIV specialist here, I win!

What should you do? Get some counseling for your irrational HIV fears and anxiety, because indeed I, too, agree you are "going insane with worry!" That's the problem! Not HIV!

Thanks for your donation. Please feel better and try to remember HIV is not your problem.

Dr. Bob


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