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You are getting rusty, Dr. Bob
Aug 8, 2004

Dear Dr. Bob:

You seem to be getting rusty in how your select question. It seems that over the past two or three months, you skip all the novel questions and answer easy questions. Why?

Do you agree with my doctor's assessment as follows? My exposure was using my index finger to masturbate prostitute for about 10 seconds. I had about a 3-hour old minor cut. The cut was not bleeding in any way, shape or form. The prostitute also performed protected oral sex on me. She fingered my anus for about 20 seconds. No blood on her hands NOR cuts on her hands.

I went to my doctor at the end of 9 full weeks for an ELISA test. Came back negative. At the end of week 11, I developed a cold with a very high fever of 99.1 degrees.

My doctor's advice is to go home and take a guilt pill. He said that my exposure to begin with was virtually NO risk, and that testing in my case was a complete waste of time. He said that he only gave me the 9-week test to alleviate my concerns and that I should take the results and not worry any longer, because I did not have any risk. As to my ARS symptoms of the 99.1 degree high fever, stuffy nose, and two-day sore throat, my doctor told me that a cold + anxiety do not equal ARS, and that ARS after 11 full weeks is so off-the-radar.

Dr. Bob, I'm pretty certain that I'm in "trouble" from my exposure. My doctor is just a general practioner. Who is right here? Me or him?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You think I'm getting rusty? You think I skip novel questions and only answer easy ones? Hmmmmmmm, sorry you feel that way. Let's have a look at your questions, since it must be very novel and difficult, OK?

You index-fingered a lady of the night for 10 seconds with a three-hour-old minor, non-bleeding cut, and then received a protected BJ and 20 seconds of her fingers doing a butt-walk on you. You then had a nine-week negative ELISA.

Ummmmm . . . am I missing something here??? Just where is the "novel difficult" question?

Perhaps it's your "very high fever of 99.1 degrees." Who the hell told you that was a very high fever?

Your doctor's advice was to go home and take a guilt pill because you essentially had not HIV risk and he only gave you the nine-week test to "alleviate" your concerns. Well, I guess that plan worked well, didn't it?

So you are "pretty certain that you're in trouble form your exposure???"

Well, I'm absolutely certain you're not in HIV trouble. I agree with your doctor, except, if I decided to recommend an HIV test, I would always wait a full three months to be sure the results were definitive. My advice is to try the guilt pill again get counseling if you have difficultly with guilt, irrational fears, or accepting your HIV-negative status! In addition, I would suggest you take two common-sense pills, as you seem to have a significant deficiency.

Last, would you like to retract that comment about my getting rusty or the suggestion that your question is the least bit novel or difficult?

Dr. Bob



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