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bad night at the football game
Aug 4, 2004

hi dr bob, first off thank you for your forum it is very helpful when your not sure where to turn. my story is very similar to many already posted. i went to a football game, tailgated, got to drunk and ended in a car with someone i didn't know. i had unprotected vaginal sex, received and gave oral. i'm married and the guilt was to much and i told my wife. i just never meant to hurt her and don't want to hurt her anymore. i got test and 7 days(to early) then at 6 weeks and at 5.5 months all anibody test. in my panic i also paid for a pcrdna test at about 48 days. all test were neg. i also had a battery of std test. again all neg. its been 10 months now and with everything being neg. my wife and i resumed have unprotected sex. but afterwards i am consumed by worry that i could infect her. am i in the clear? also is it a usual practice for a pcp to do both hiv I and II.(eliza). the pcrdna was only hiv I. i love my wife and don't want to cause her anymore pain as through all this she has stuck by my side

thankyou for the advice sorrowful husband

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Sorrowful Husband,

You got some tail while tailgating??? Yes, unprotected sex does place you at risk for STDs, including HIV. However, your negative STD screen, neg HIV ELISAs out to 5.5 months, and neg PCR-DNA at 48 days are conclusive. You are HIV negative. I do not know if your PCP ran both HIV-1 and HIV-2 ELISAs. Wouldn't it make more sense to ask him that question? I do not feel HIV-2 testing is warranted for your exposure.

I'm delighted you have confided in and confessed to your wife, and that she is standing by your side. However, you are still plagued with guilt and anxiety over your actions. I would suggest you get some counseling to help you cope with your irrational fears. There is no doubt HIV is not your problem. Rather, being "consumed by worry" is! You do need help for this very real problem.

Good luck. Feel better.

Dr. Bob



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