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Dr. Bob - The Sex Genius - Please Answer
Aug 4, 2004

Dr. Bob,

This is a REAL safe sex question, never seen answered before. And you are the BEST person to answer I'm sure.

You know I never had sex in my life (I'm male, 26); the other day I tried to have it with a 33 yr old woman, of unknown HIV status. We had good kissing all day, and returned home at night to have sex. I tried using Condom. But because of fears, and because of wasting time in putting condom, my penis went down, and my orgasm got cut off. Besides, her comments like "it's frustrating", "don u know how to do it" etc. made me even more nervous, thinking..and finally the penis never got up, so couldnt do it at all.

Any suggestions? I dont want to do without condom, so please tell me how to hold the erection when putting condom on. I know you and your sweet heart, Steve, ALWAYS use condom so you would be an expert on using condom, maintaining erection..

I would sincerely appreciate your suggestion and have a great "pumping-night" tonite.

Thanks ! Ricky

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Your "orgasm got cut off?" Hmmmm . . . another case of "climaxus interruptus???" Maybe not. Perhaps you mean your woody went limp? I can certainly see why, with the ever-so-sensitive comments coming from your sex partner. Apparently she doesn't realize a penis is not exactly the same as the battery-operated dildo she's so used to using.

Your problem is merely "performance anxiety," exacerbated by Miss Bitch's comments. I'd suggest you practice putting condoms on your Mr. Happy when you masturbate. It does require some technique. Trying to open the foil packets with slippery hands can be a challenge (Most of us wind up biting the edge of the foil to tear it open.), as can be making sure you have it on so that it unrolls properly. (We've all had the experience, particularly in the dark, of starting to put them on inside out and then having to reapply them properly.) Also, try several different varieties of condoms. Some are more user friendly than others. Once you're comfortable and adept at getting yourself dressed, you should be ready for action with a partner. I'd suggest making the condom application part of the sex play. You can even eroticize condoms by having your partner put it on you, or by helping you as you don your plastic wetsuit.

My strongest recommendation is to not have sex without protection. It's not worth the risk. You, too, can become "an expert on using condoms" with a little practice. Pick up a copy of "The Joy of Sex" or any basic sex guide for additional tips.

I'm quite confident you'll soon be enjoying your own safe "pumping nights!"

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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